Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Week 7

Razor Ramon (149.50) vs Dukes of Hazzard (107.50)
It's official, Ryan reigns supreme. "Mr Fantasy" has scored over 100 points in every matchup this year (except last week's 64.5 point drubbing by Fobulous). In a highl anticipated game for top dog status in the Black Hole, the Razors secured a win with WRs Terry Glenn and Plaxico Burress still to play. Ryan's team passed their way to victory -- Michael Vick with 4 passing TDs and 27.5 points, Tom Brady with a more modest 17 points, Marvin Harrison with 22.5 pts -- but also had Chester Taylor's 25 point explosion to move things along. The Arizona defense wasn't too shabby either, contributing 15 points in a nice effort.

Why couldn't the Dukes take this opportunity to steal the top spot? Well, maybe because treasured defensive star, San Diego's own Shawne Merriman was caught doing steroids perhaps (The Chargers D has since been waived and replaced by the Falcons D)? While Chargers duo Philip Rivers and Antonio Gates hooked up for 33.5 points, that was still bad karma. The WR trio of Andre Johnson (20), Steve Smith (16) and Reggie Williams (21.5) was pretty terrific but when you play the league leader, you can't have your RBs combine for 4.5 points and your other young QB, Matt Leinart, put up only six points.

So here it is, after WK7 and fending off all challengers, Razor Ramon sits atop the league all by his lonesome. And he's loving it.

Brown Starz (137.00) vs El Nino's (84.00)
In a crucial matchup of two 3-3 teams (both coming off losses), it looks like Galvez is taking it to the big house after this weekend. With an aerial attack that featured three 20-point WRs (Randy Moss, Darrell Jackson, Mike Furrey), the Starz exploded this week. Add in Peyton Manning's 33 points and another 15 points from WR Reggie Brown and what do you get? A beatdown on Hong. It didn't even matter that RB Lamont Jordan didn't play -- he did suit up -- or that Chicago defense was on bye, Galvez proved that when you need a big win, he can pull through.

Hong on the other hand, is looking at the receiving end of the hurt stick. Sure, he has a chance on MNF, but logic tells us that Eli Manning, Brandon Jacobs, and Marion Barber III aren't going to combine for the necessary 82 points. Hong's "farked." Maybe it would have helped if his kicker, Robbie Gould, wasn't on bye. Or if WR Donte Stallworth had been scheduled to even play. Instead, the only production Hong go this week (so far) has been from Donovan McNabb's 28 points, and Jericho Cotchery's 11.5. Things are not looking good in the land of the Pan. After five consecutive weeks of over 100 points per game, he's dipped to two weeks of less than 90. It's okay, this team still has the best player in fantasy and this should only be a mid-season bump in the road.

MNF Update: Eli Manning (15), Brandon Jacobs (10) and Marion Barber III gave it the old college go but came up a few dozens points short.


Jedi Knights (156.00) vs Pizza the Hut (81.00)
Another team heading to 4-3 in high style will be the Jedi Knights. After putting up 156 points this week (third highest of the season, 162.5 and 156.5, by Fobulous in WK3 and WK6 respectively), the Knights have vaulted themselves to possibly to 2nd place in the league (pending Fobulous and Dirty Birds' outcome). Not bad hunh?
Recent acquisitions Jake Delhomme (17) and Hines Ward (39) both had excellent games but to reach such dizzying heights requires a team effort. Detroit teammates QB Jon Kitna and RB Kevin Jones both contributed 22 points apice, while Tatum Bell (19.5) and Vikings defense (18) had outstanding games as well. The loss of WR Steve Smith and Ronnie Brown hasn't slowed this team down one bit, in fact, it seems to be a case of addition by subtraction. Go Blue!

As for current champion Pizza the Hut; it's not looking good. Last place is looking mighty lonely. The Hut's can't seem to get out of the quadmire they find themselves stuck in. And now top QB Matt Hasselbeck (10 pts) could be out for quite awhile with a knee injury. It's Alex Smith time! The other QB spot isn't exactly a beacon of hope either, since Charlie Frye is a recent waiver wire addition and only put up 9 points this week. Well, where's the good news? Top RBs Julius Jones and Tiki Barber still have MNF tonight, so they provide hope for an inspiring comeback -- miracles can happen. The rest of the team stunk up the joint this week. Carnell Williams and Chad Johnson had 10 points apiece, but that only equalled the output of the kicker, Neil Rackers. And let's not even mention Santana Moss and Laveranus Coles... The Huts need to pull it together right now to get into the playoffs. Like, right now.
MNF Update: Julius Jones (5.5) and Tiki (14) didn't exactly pull through...

Dirty Birds (124.50) vs Fobulous (116.00)
It's been a battle of inches this year for the Dirty Birds. Despite scoring the second most points in the league, they've had losses by 0.5 points and 18.5 points. Ok, they've only had one close loss (while winning two close games by a combined 11.5 points) but it hurst okay?

The Birds are in for another MNF nail biter as they hold a mere 25.5 point lead over Fobulous. It's Bledsoe-Owens versus the recently acquired kicker, Jay Feely for the Birds. Doesn't look good does it? The Birds need this victory to climb back into contention and the Fobsters are looking to build upon last week's butt kicking of the Razors.

The Birds thought they had a victory in hand with Carson Palmer (20), Larry Johnson (28), Donald Driver (20) and TJ Houshmandzadeh (15.5) having excellent days. But Jimmy didn't do too shabby himself. Fobulous RBs LaDainian Tomlinson and Brian Westbrook combined for 54.5 points and Maurice Jones-Drew put up a decent 15.5 points. Anquan Boldin (7) and Reggie Williams (0) didn't put up their usual numbers but the moral of the story is that Jimmy could steal a MNF victory from his arch-nemesis.

MNF Update: Jay Feely did it (with 10 points)! Fending off Bledsoe (9) and Owens (18) was no small feat the Birds emerge with a 8.5 point victory!


Next Week: Razor Ramon faces off versus El Nino's. A testy WK1 battle ended up with Ramon winning, can Hong strike back?

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Week 6

Week Six, the pretenders who were contenders might start falling. It's almost mid-season and all the early season flukes and success are settling. Can't believe that Rex Grossman and Laveranus Coles are the top players at their position? Get over it. It's happening, what're you gonna do about it? Second half success stories are bound to appear so now's the time to keep a sharp eye on the waiver wire.

Early season waiver wire drops/adds and some recent trades could really affect the shape of the league. Let's go boys, time to put up or shut up.


Jedi Knights (108.00) vs El Nino's (84.00)
Proving that being an active trading partner can result in good karma, the Jedi Knights pulled of a relatively easy victory against the Hongshin led El Nino's. As winter approaches, it looks like the Nino's are slowing down some. Donovan McNabb is still the best player in the land (18 pts) but aside from young sensation Marques Colston (12 pts), everyone else on the roster had an off week. Reggie Bush and Thomas Jones combined for 12.5 points total. The other starting receivers -- Galloway and the newly acquired M Muhammad -- had only 10 points total. It's not good when your defense (Broncos, 12 pts) has just about as many points as your WRs and RBs.

The Knights on the other hand got a little bit of sugar and spice from their recent acquisitions. WR Steve Smith exploded the week after leaving the Jedi and new QB Rex Grossman racked up -5 points. That's right, negative five. Whoops. But at least the other new QB, Jake Delhomme had a good day -- from the bench. On the bright side, veteran WR and Super Bowl MVP Hines Ward finally turned in a decent game with 13.5 points. The Jedi can thank the hard running of Clinton Portis (20.5), Tatum Bell (17), and Kevin Jones (24) for their easy victory this week. Both teams now sit in a glut of four teams at 3-3; which way will the teams head in the second half of the season?


Fobsters (156.50) vs Razor Ramon (92.00)
In another upset, fifth place Fobulous destroys top ranked Razor Ramon. Maybe the Razors were looking past this matchup (to next week's showdown with Gene) but they forgot about LT. Upset by the way he's continually misused by Ryan in Madden games, LT decided to show him how it's really done. With multiple touchdowns and 40.5 points, it seems like Tomlinson got his revenge and then some. Despite just average play from his QBs -- Bledsoe 16 and Brunell 13 -- Jimmy got that huge day from LT and a breakout game from TO (24.5) to secure the win.

Ryan did have Steven Jackson go for 18.5 points and a nice effort from Drew Brees (21) and Michael Vick (15), but the receiving trio of Terry Glenn, Plaxico Burress, and Keyshawn Johnson averaged 6 points each, and that's not going to win too many games for you. Still the Razors are dangerous going into next week's primetime matchup.


Dirty Birds (148.00) vs Pizza the Hut (142.00)
Who knew that the two worst teams would make for the highest scoring game in the league so far? In week 6, it's make or break time. The Birds need this win to remain in playoff contention. The Huts have to start putting some points on the board, otherwise their repeat aspirations will die soon. Both teams came out flying and ready to battle for their lives.

The Hut's main QB, Matt Hassellbeck finally showed his passing acumen with 27 points to lead the way. His main target? Laveranus Coles who racked up 24.5 points. With Tiki Barber (23.5) chuggging away on the ground, the supporting cast of Julius Jones, Frank Gore, Chad Johnson and Santana Moss all put in double digit efforts.

Unfortunately for Marcus, Jon seems headed for a win this week as he had both ends of the Rams' explosive week. Marc Bulger had 28 points and Torry Holt had 37. If the Birds lose this week, it can't be because they didn't have great performances. Actually, if Pizza's K Neil Rackers kicks 18 points on MNF to tie (and 19 to win), it'll all be GM Yang's fault as he chose not to play a third WR this week.

While this may have opened up the field for Holt and Bulger (and TJ Houshmandeh with 21 pts), the crucial missing player could lead to a huge demoralizing loss. In fact, all of Jon's offensive players had their real NFL teams lose, which may be a record in itself. At least the Birds are poised for a good second half of the season, as recent addition Ronnie Brown warmed up with 17 points to fill a season long hole at RB2 for the Birds. "TJ Houshmanzilly, championship!"


Duke of Hazzard (141.50) vs Brown Starz (101.00)
Here we go kids, the Dukes are racking up the wins and taking no prisoners doing it. With a lopsided this week against the Starz, that makes four straight for Mr Kim and his boys. Whatever motivational ploy he's been using is clearly working. Even after jettissoning red-hot QB Rex Grossman, the Dukes had Philip Rivers (24) and JP Losman (15) waiting in the wings. The gain from that trade, WR Steve Smith, exploded for 28 points. I'd say that trade was a good one for Gene. With fast Willie Parker (19.5)zipping through the big holes created by the passing game (A Gates and Andre Johnson had 27 pts combined), the Dukes are firing on all pistons during their best game of the year.

Sadly, the same cannot be said of the Brown Stars. Galvez had eeked out a few wins earlier in the season but all that karma is catching up. With his backfield of Lamont Jordan and Rudi Johnson combining for a mere 11 pts, it was hard for WRs Darrell Jackson (17) and Reggie Brown (28) to pick up the slack. In fact, the two QBs for the Starz had 6 points total -- Plummer with 8 and McNair with (-)2 -- which is totally unacceptable. The Brown Starz will soon turn into a little troupe of Brownies if they don't hurry up and pick up a win.

Next week: Battle for #1, Razor versus Dukes........ Ex-Groom versus Future-Groom......bring...it...on.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Week 5

Razor Ramon (116.50) vs Brown Starz (91.50)
In a match-up of two 3-1 teams and the current league leaders, the Ramons showed the world who was up and which team was down. Despite coming into this game with a three game win streak, the Starz were easily defeated by the cream of the crop.

Establishing himself as the team to beat, the Razors have sliced up all competitors this season. With a balanced, well-built team with plenty of depth at all positions, the Razors are like the Patriots dynasty -- no superstars but plenty of super players. And who better to lead these Patriots than the original Patriot, Tom Brady? Note the irony of Brady leading his team against the die-hard Michigan fan, Galvez.
But it wasn't just Brady powering the Razors to victory. D Brees, S Jackson, E James, P Burress, D Foster, and even the K J Wilkins all scored in double digits. And that's not accounting for WRs M Harrison and T Glenn, who were just off the ten point mark. That's depth. That's the best team in the league.

Galvez has slip slided his way to three straight victories but the buck stops here. Peyton Manning had an unexpected struggle with the Titans D and despite a resurgence of Randy Moss (13.5 pts) and the always steady Bears D (15.0 pts), it wasn't enough to compete for the top prize. PS- Anyone see Galvez's Yahoo icon? Toot toot indeed. Galvez, you dirty dog.

Dukes of Hazzard (96.50) vs Jedi Knights (73.00)
Could it be? The Dukes are headed up? With another win this week, the Dukes will vault yet another foe in the standings and be at 3-2 for the season. That's right, above 0.500. Call it the rebirth of slick. Behind the awesome might -- cough, cough -- of Rex Grossman (17 pts), the Dukes ran (W Parker, 14.5), passed (B Leftwich, 15.0), caught (A Gates, 12.5) and hit (San Diego, 11.0) their way to a third consecutive victory. And aside from the continued good play of WR Greg Jennings (18.5), the Jedi Knights didn't put up much of an effort. The Knight's QBs combined for 16 pts, their RBs combined for 20.5(among 3 of them) and that was that. If this season is a movie trilogy, the Jedi are squarely mired in "The Empire Strikes Back," a dark time for the rebel alliance.

Pizza the Hut (132.50) vs Fobulous (105.00)
Here's a team who needed a win in the worst way. Paper champions Pizza the Hut had lost three in a row and looked on the verge of disaster. However, with a great week in tow, they could be on the upswing again. Powered by young QBs Damon Huard (20) and Alex Smith (19), the Huts are here to prove that experience is nothing. With the one ring that rules them all, the Huts marshalled the forces and got great production out of RBs F Gore (17.5), J Jones (12.5), and T Barber (14.5). Chip in a nasty Philadelphia D (23) that manhandled Drew Bledsoe for 3 picks and the Huts were able to put up their best week of the season. With the heart of a champion, Pizza finally had the game of a champion too.

Really, what could Jimmy do against a force of nature like Damon Huard? Well, he might have started a defense who wasn't on bye (Bengals D), that's for sure. In a move that will be investigated for weeks to come, some cynics have said that Jimmy threw the game. Then again, with gems like RBs M Jones-Drew (17), D McAllister (18.5) as well as beautiful games by WRs A Boldin (15) and B Berrian (17), the Fobsters did put up a fight. But isn't that what the greatest cheats always want us to think? It was just good enough to lose. Hum....very suspicious......

El Nino's (115.00) vs Dirty Birds (99.00)
In a self proclaimed "Death Match," the Birds look well on their way to committing ritual suicide. With no reason to live anymore (if they lose), the Birds can only hope that Jamal Lewis and Matt Stover can somehow overcome Todd Heap and a 20+ deficit for a miracle win on Monday night. Short of any miracles, the Birds are headed to the bottom of the pile. Despite heroic efforts by QB Marc Bulger (20) and RB Larry Johnson (20), the Birds just stink. The resurgent Freddy Taylor (21.5) was left on the bench -- proving that GM Yang has not only lost his touch, but maybe he never had it in the first place.

Hong, front runner for GM of the Year, has proven that his butt buddy relationship with Donovan McNabb (29) not only produces questions about both their sexual orientations, but also victories. Why in the world is K Robbie Gould scoring 19 points in a week? Is this even possible for a kicker? At least the El Nino's waiver wire wonders J Cotchery and M Colston combined for only 10.5 points this week. And at least WR J Galloway (20.5) was left on the bench, otherwise this game would have been well out of reach -- even for a miracle. But still, a victory is forthcoming and here come the El Nino's; aiming for a heated re-match with the always dangerous Razor Ramons. "Immortality! Take it! It's yours!"
MNF Update: Jon lost. What else you want to know?

Next week: Does it even really matter anymore? I hate fantasy football.
Shouldn't we be adults and play stocks or something? Oh wait, I'd lose at
that too.