Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Super Bowl II


Fobulous (132.00) vs Dukes of Hazard (107.50)

With another big upset under their belt, Fobulous becomes the second champion in Black Hole history. Despite entering the post-season as only a fourth seed, Jimmy's team was the dark horse contender simply because of LaDainian Tomlinson.

Showing a savvy beyond the skills of his English, Jimmy worked all year long to secure a roster worthy of being called "Champion." On Christmas day, Jimmy and his Buddhist beliefs took it to the mouth of Gene and Jesus by socking them in the mouth -- and winning handily by 24.5 points. Take that Son of God! Ohm-me-to-fo...

The Dukes of Hazzard didn't just roll over -- perhaps they bent over just a little -- but their effort came up a bit short. Starting off Sunday with some success, the Dukes fell behind early -- Cedric Benson (5), Reggie Wayne (3.5), Antonio Gates (7) -- but fought back hard behind stud running backs Shaun Alexander (27) and Reggie Bush (21). The problems started however, when the passing attack stalled behind QBs Tony Romo (11) and Jay Cutler (14), and most of all, Smurf-sized star WR Steve Smith racked up a hum-dinger, zero. Gene's Kansas City Defense gave it a go, 16 points, but were obviously unable to overcome the potent offense that Jimmy was packing.

Fobulous had ridden the hard charging legs of LaDainian Tomlinson and Brian Westbrook all season long but the two All-Pros combined for only 26.5 points this week -- that's usually just one good half for LDT. Terrell Owens (9) and Anquan Boldin (8) didn't exactly step up either, as they faced double coverage all day.

However, all the attention on these four stars freed WR Bernard Berrian for 12.5 points and gave Maurice Jones-Drew the room to rumble for 32 points! Jeff Garcia (17) has been a revelation for the Eagles and has been steady for Jimmy during the last few weeks. Old war horse Brett Favre -- and Jimmy's favorite Madden football player -- can finally ride off into the sunset with a championship, despite having a sub-par performance, 10 points. And look, a championship for John Carney too, who was delighted to be off of the El Nino's and booted in 12 points to cap the victory.

So, as much as I hate to say it, Jimmy's Fobulous is our champion! Long live Taiwan! Is Jimmy even aware that he won? I think he's on vacation with his girlfriend. Fantasy Champion + Girlfriend = Jimmy? 2006 has been the year of many firsts for Jimmy. Right?

Monday, December 18, 2006

Playoffs: Semi-Finals

Fobsters 142.50 vs Razor Ramon 139.00
Why have the best record when you can have the best player? Proving once again that stars step up when it's crunch time, the best player in the world, LaDainian Tomlinson, led the way to a huge upset with 31.5 points on Sunday. Finishing one yard shy of 200 yards and two TDs (one on a spectacular 80+ yard run), LDT is showing that he can't be stopped.

The Razors didn't have a bad week but they sure didn't seem to have enough to fend off LT and the boys. RB Stephen Jackson did his best LDT impersonation with 24 points but he wasn't even Brian Westbrook (27.5). After that, the disappointments for the Razors piled up. QBs Drew Brees and Tom Brady totaled 21 points; Ahman Green only had 14.5 pts; Plaxico has a respectable 15.

Struggling with indecision before the games, Ryan went with Marques Colston over Terry Glenn -- both WRs got 11.5 pts, no loss there. Maybe Lee Evans would have been the better choice (13.5) but why quibble over two points when you're likely to lose by twenty? Back to those QBs. Brees has been a monster this year but maybe Brady could have picked it up a notch since he was playing the hapless Houston Texans -- Mike Vick had 30 on the bench. Beat a team 40-7 and only rack up 13 fantasy points Tom? Ryan hates you right now. Barring a miracle outing from Marvin Harrison on MNF, the great regular season by Ryan will be only a memory as Jimmy takes him down for the third time this year.

Speaking of those Fobsters. It wasn't just the LaDainian Tomlinson show. You don't score 140+ on the back of one great back. The aforementioned Brian Westbrook had 27.5 points and Terrell Owens contributed 20.5. One man's loss is another man's gain as Freddy Taylor's early injury may have doomed Jon to a loss, but Maurice Jones-Drew exploded for 20.5 to match Owens. The passing game is a bit of a weak spot as Fobster QBs Brett Favre and Jeff Garcia combined for only 16 points; as well as weak performances from WRs Anquan Boldin (8.5) and Bernard Berrian (6). Still, we're not looking for perfection here, just wins.

Jimmy is looking like the prohibitive favorite entering the Super Bowl -- he's no regular fourth seed underdog, not with LDT playing the way he is.

MNF - Well, Marvin gave it the old college go didn't he? Eight catches, three TDs and 30 points. Tragically, the Razors needed 34 to win. Ouch.

Dukes of Hazzard (112.00) vs Dirty Birds (63.50)
The Dirty Birds are on their way to a flame out. Sure there's Monday Night left but really, can Carson Palmer, TJ Housmanzedeh and Bengals D take on a 40-point deficit and Reggie Wayne? GM Yang had wanted to stick RB Joseph Addai in his lineup but was late to the computer and was instead left with the turd that Fred Taylor dropped (3 pts) on his way to another injury. The Birds' motto this year is "Never say die, keep flying high!" but it's looking grim as the end of their season nears. Their highest scorer this week? Donald Driver with 10.5 points. Marc Bulger (6), Larry Johnson (9.5), Torry Holt (7), and Larry Fitzgerald (9.5) all crapped out and will be fired immediately following the loss.

It's not like the Dukes had a great week. They will score enough to win, but they didn't have anyone go huge. Solid performances from QBs Ben Roethlisberger (18) and Tony Romo (19) paved the running lanes for RBs Willie Parker (19) and Shaun Alexander (13). WRs Steve Smith and Antonio Gates combined for an ugly 8 points but together, the team should have done enough to advance to the Super Bowl.

This marks the second straight year that Gene will have eliminated Jon on the road to the championship. A true rivalry in the making.

MNF - Well, Reggie Wayne single-handedly outscored the three Bengals -- 17.50 to 16 -- and that puts the nail in the coffin on the Dirty Birds. Good night kids. Never take anyone but Tomlinson with the first pick -- huge mistake.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Playoffs: Opening Round

Dirty Birds (132.00) vs Jedi Knights (76.00)
The Knights have had trouble at the QB position all year and in the end, it was the failures of Jake Delhomme and Chad Pennington that sunk them. The two combined for 8 points total and that's hardly going to win crucial playoff matchups. In fact, the only players who can stick their head high after this game is the surprising Braylon Edwards (16) and Kevin Jones (15). In a coincidence, Jones plays for the Detroit Lions and Braylon Edwards was once a Michigan Wolverine. Go Blue?

The Birds didn't have to rely on hometown heroes to put points on the board and took to the air with TJ Houshmandzadeh (21), Larry Fitzgerald (16.50), Torry Holt (22) and the explosion by Donald Driver (26.5). Tragically, this team has some holes since 2nd QB David Garrard totalled 1 point and 2nd RB Joseph Addai only added 3.5. Still, a win's a win!

Fobulous (145.50) vs Brown Starz (116.00)
The Chinese crew took another one this week as Jimmy eliminates Galvez after a heated battle. In the end, up-and-coming Vince Young (22) helped LaDainian (28.5) -- only first names for him now -- to comfortably win in this first round matchup. LT now has the TD record and a chance to match up with the goliath team, Razor Ramon. Which squad is more scared heading into the semis? The league leading Razors? Or the LT led Fobulous? Tough call -- do we smell upset?

The Starz had Rudi Johnson rumble for 21 points and a good overall effort from Jamal Lewis (14) and Darrell Jackson (14.5), but if you're going against a hot team, you're gonna need more than 19 from your All-Pro quaterback, Peyton Manning. Without his superstar play, the Starz take one on the noggin and exit the playoffs.

Next week: The Semi-Final, the best matchups ever? Tbd.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Final Standings

Razor Ramon (9-4) 1660.00, L-1
Dukes of Hazzard (9-4) 1522.00, W-5
Dirty Birds (8-5) 1553.00, W-2
Fobulous (7-5-1) 1624.50, W-2
Brown Starz (6-6-1) 1419.00, L-2
Jedi Knights (6-7) 1398.00, W-1

Pizza the Hut (3-10) 1415.00, L-2
El Nino's (3-6) 1354.50, L-8

Monday, December 04, 2006

Week 13

Fobulous (140.00) vs Razor Ramon (138.50)
It's official, the Razors are nigh invulnerable and will finish the regular season at 10-3. Quite a feat considering that one of their top playeres, QB Michael Vick, has been erratic as hell. Still, he carried the team early on and then Drew Brees (obtained in exchange for WR Muhsin Muhammad) took over. This week, WR Marvin Harrison took over the reins (26.5) and powered Razor to a strong win. We'll announce our MVP for the season but it's going to be hard to not pick a player from the best team in the league.

The Fobulous ones took out Razor Ramon last time they matched up, but unless QB Jeff Garcia and RB Brian Westbrook combine for 47 points, they're gonna have to take a hit on their record and fall to exactly 0.500 (6-6-1) heading into the post-season. LaDainian Tomlinson continues his MVP-type performance (31.5) and for the first time in years, is not dinged up heading into the fantasy playoffs. Fobulous may not have the best regular season record, but nobody wants to face the LT-Train come playoff time.

MNF Update: It's a Monday Night comeback! Jeff Garcia is a blast from the past and goes wild with 28 pts! Brian Westbrook goes for 20! The Fobsters win by 1.5 points! It's a miracle! Too bad it's a meaningless game at the end of the season. Still, the Fobulous ones prove that they can beat the Razors -- again.

Dukes of Hazzard (112.50) Brown Starz (89.50)
Forget simply winning for pride, Gene and his Dukes need to make sure that Steve Smith and DeAngelo Williams combine for over 17.5 points to take out Galvez, otherwise they'll take a loss and lose out on a bye to the Dirty Birds. Nobody wants to lose out on a playoff bye in the first round. Let's see if Steve Smith can pull through on MNF; it's hard to bet against this mighty mite. Other than that, the story of the week is RB Reggie Bush, who finally exploded for 40+ points and 4 TDs -- all while sitting on the bench. Whoops. Still, the Dukes head into the post-season on quite a roll (five wins in a row if they win this week) and stand a good chance to take a ring. QB Tony Romo can't throw up another dud though, with only 9 points.

The Brown Starz have been an up-and-down team all season. QB Peyton Manning has been steady but hardly spectacular, and he might cool his jets once the Colts secure home field advantage. In the meantime, the other QB spot is in turmoil for the Starz. I mean, if your QB (Brad Johnson) gets negative 5 points, that's turmoil right? The Starz are consistent (only 2 weeks not hitting the century mark) but they usually hover around the low 100's. That might not be enough come playoff time. The Bears D is going to have to continue playing tough (23 points) in order for the Starz to make an impact in the coming weeks.

MNF Update: DeAngelo Williams explodes for 26.5 points and Steve Smith notches 14 to secure the win -- and the coveted bye -- for the Dukes. Vacation time for Gene's boys! (That does not mean going commando buddy...)

Dirty Birds (114.50) vs Pizza the Hut (98.00)
Trent Green's back! With 26 points, Mr Green came back triumphantly, just in time for...another Pizza the Hut loss. How the mighty have fallen. A ring in hand does not insure a playoff spot does it? Tiki and Chad may be primetime players, but they haven't been able to carry the defending champions to too many wins. But hey, at least the Huts didn't finish last!

The Birds are hoping to sneak their way into a playoff bye, just like Florida snuck their way into a BCS title game. Even though they probably don't deserve to get a bye (the Dukes beat them two weeks ago), they could if the Dukes falter on Monday Night. With a strong passing attack -- led by Torry Holt (20.5), TJ Houshmandzadeh (21) and Larry Fitzgerald (12.5) -- the Birds are capable of putting up big numbers. For them to win a championship though, they're going to need Larry Johnson to turn it up a notch and prove that he was selected #1 overall for a reason.

Jedi Knights (109.00) vs El Nino's (78.5)
What an embarassing end to an embarassing season. The El Nino's could lose despite their opponent scoring only 73.00 points. Of course, they could also win as WR Donte Stallworth faces off against the Knight's Jake Delhomme and Keyshawn Johnson, but it's more likely that they'll lose and put a cap on their first to last season. QB Eli Manning finally emerged from a funk with 21 points but hey Eli, too little too late. Hong had a Midas touch earlier in the season but this time around, early season finds like Jerricho Cotchery (19.5), Marion Barber III (19) and Marty Booker (14.5) were left flailing on the bench. Plus, Hong moved away all the wrong New Orleans players; hanging onto injured WR Joe Horn while cutting RB Reggie Bush and trading away QB Drew Brees -- both of whom are on championship contending teams now.

The Jedi Knights will enter the playoffs as big underdogs (having lost three in a row and failing to top 100 points in three games) but at least they have a puncher's chance. They've made some bad moves this year too. Well, one bad move: QB Rex Grossman was acquired in exchange for WR Steve Smith. Not good. RB Ronnie Brown was moved for WR Hines Ward also, but that's a wash as both players are listed as "out." Can a team whose biggest star is um...Baltimore Defense...really win a championship? Maybe it's time for hometown hero RB Kevin Jones to start heating up and take the Knights through a winter ride they'll never forget; a ride towards a championship! KEVIN JONES!

MNF Update: Delhomme and Johnson combine for 36, Donte gets 19. Not quite enough for Hong to pull out of last place. Oh well, maybe next year.




Good luck in the playoffs everyone!