Super Bowl III

babysrus (152.00) vs razoRAMON (111.00)
We told you to be careful didn't we? babysrus was the hottest team over the second half of the season and despite razoRAMON's best efforts, nothing could stop the avalanche that was Gene from crushing the competition. Maybe they were angry over last year's championship game loss versus Jimmy?

Gene entered the playoffs as only the fifth seed but proceeded to eliminate the Dirty Birds (#4), Old English (#1), and finally, razoRAMON (#2). That's nine wins and one tie to close out the season after starting off 0-6. How you like me now?!? What kind of pep talk did Coach Kim give to these guys their 76-89 loss to the Fobsters in WK6? After that point, babysrus went over the century mark every week and even averaged a stunning 130+ points per game.

In the Super Bowl, they busted out for 152 points behind the QB duo of wily Kurt Warner (30) and dynamic Donovan McNabb (26). RBs Brandon Jacobs and Fred Taylor combined for 43.50 points as Reggie Wayne (23) and Terrell Owens (12.50) contributed through the air. Despite a broken leg by Willie Parker, that's all she wrote for the Razors.

Ryan's team walked into the playoffs with a first round bye -- as always -- but couldn't help petering out near the end. Their price number one draft pick, Drew Brees, contributed only 12.5 points in an uneven season and despite the best work of Randy Moss (19.5) and the other Adrian Peterson (17.5), they couldn't keep up with the babies. Joseph Addai and Edgerrin James combined for only 18.5 points and even Ben Roethlisberger's 26 points wasn't enough to stave off defeat.

So it's safe to say that Gene and his team had the greatest comeback season -- even greatest season -- in Black Hole history as they came out of nowhere to become the lord and king of everywhere. Congratulations!

Week 10

Sure we missed a week of updates but we didn't miss much did we? Oh wait, the playoffs are right around the corner! Only three more regular season games to go. Remember, top two seeds get byee and only six teams total make the playoffs. The Brown Stars and Nacho Libre's are out of the playoff picture now but I'm thinking that two wins will get them in. So let's get crunk! (I've always wanted to say that…out loud)

Dirty Birds (112.00) vs RazoRamon (100.00)
The Birds get a huge win off an amazing tie in Week 9 with Gene (124 - 124). They needed this win to separate themselves from the pack for a playoff spot and it looks like, barring a huge collapse, they'll be in. They also took out the Razors with a well played game by Torry Holt (16), Reggie Bush (15.5), and the ageless Brett Favre (29). The Ramons had equally good games from their trio of Drew Brees (17), Clinton Portis (17), and Ben Roethlisberger (31) but they had weak performances everywhere else and had to settle for a demoralizing loss.

Fobsters (82.00) vs Nacho Libre's (66.00)
With the Razors' loss, the Fobsters and Old English are all tied up at 7-3. Two of these teams will get a bye so it's crucial for Jimmy, Eric, and Ryan to finish the season strong. The Fobsters are hot after winning three games in a row and despite only scoring 82 points and getting a combined -3 from both their QBs, they were able to thrash a defensless Nacho team -- mainly behind Brian Westbrook's 38.5 points. Actually, the Nacho's had a defense in there but with Chad Pennington on bye and no extra WR inserted, they lost due to mismanagement. This win would have given Hong a leg up on his competition for the last playoff spot but now he's in the for the fight of his life.

babysrus (157.00) vs Jedi Knights (107.00)
Gene is on a tear. After starting the season off with six straight losses, they've won three games and tied one. They've scored 130-132.50-124-157 in consecutive weeks. Our early season league doormat is certainly making a case for being the hottest team in the league right now. QBs Kurt Warner and Donovan McNabb combined for 49 points. Reggie Wayne and Terrell Owens added 52 combined. Throw in the tough running of Marshawn Lynch (17.5) and Willie Parker (11) and babysrus is hitting on all cylinders. As for the Knights, they suffer from the injury to Adrian Peterson and even with Steven Jackson (21.5), Roy Williams (19), and Bernard Berrian (16) stepping up, losing AP will hurt tremendously down the stretch.

Old English (90.00) vs Brown Stars (71.50)
After starting off hot as fire with a 5-1 record, the English are wearing down a little, posting only a 0.500 record the past four weeks. Still, they had more than enough to take out the Brown Stars. Galvez, are you playing man? Laurence Maroney and DeShawn Wynn aren't even playing! While the Brown Stars had Jason Campbell put up an encouraging 21 points, they are lacking star power across the board. Eric-A's team on the other hand, has plenty of stars in Peyton Manning (14), Tony Romo (26), and Steve Smith (6.5) but to be honest, Peyton and Smith have been disappointing recently. It's time for Peyton to step up and lead Old English to a first round bye.

Next week: #3 Fobsters face off against #4 Dirty Birds. Go China!

Week 8

A new leader has emerged, in the Black Hole and sits atop alone in the league.

razoRamon (144.50) vs BrownStars (52.50)
An uneventful game of the week as the razoRamon, the newly crowned leader, wins easily over the BrownStars. The GM of the BrownStars, Galvezy, vowed to pay closer attention but apparently his players were distracted. Kevin Jones was the lone bright spot for the team with 16 points. With Wynn placed on IR the BrownStars need to look for a replacement quickly. In all fairness the team had four starters on BYE so hopefully they will do better next week with a rested crew.

The razoRamon’s are excited that their first round pick Drew Brees (32) has finally resurfaced as the Fantasy QB of last year. With Addai contributing 29 points and the rest of the team scoring double digits the razoRamons are sitting pretty with a 6-2 record. Scouring the waiver wire (31 moves) has apparently paid of for the Ramons as they picked up Ronnie Brown (IR) after he was dropped by the English. This is a keeper league right?
But will the team suffer the same fate as last year, have a great season and a no show in the playoffs…maybe it’s the curse of the San Diego Super Chargers rubbing off.

Dirty Birds (133.50) vs Jedi Knights (120.00)
A close game indeed. Both teams where coming in 4-3 and jockeying for league position. The Knights had a great performance from the always dependable Brady (38) and from surprise fantasy breakout this season, Braylon Edwards (27). The Knights decided not to play a kicker and sat out Steven Jackson (11) replacing him with Jason Wright (1.5), moves which ultimately cost them the game. However, once Andre Johnson is back and Steven Jackson is up and running like he used to, the Knights will be a force down the stretch of the season…where it ultimately counts.

The Birds have quietly situated themselves nicely atop the leader board with two straight wins. With Favre (24) throwing like an MVP, breaking TD records and INT records, the Birds look like geniuses picking him up, but Griese (6) takes all that credibility away from the commish. With his WR crew looking solid the Birds are beaming with pride. However, Gore has played sub par of late and will soon be pulled to be replaced by Selvin Young (Hoping the “Pot Smoking Man Whore” Travis Henry is booted for the season).

babysrus (130.50) vs Nacho Libre’s (127.50)
Is it true...can it be...the babysrus wins another game? After starting the season 0-6, Gene was waving the white flag, but the team pulls of another impressive win claiming revenge on the Libre’s. The babys score another 130 points this week which seems to be their lucky number. Donovan (21) put in an impressive performance, now if he can only be consistent. Reggie Wayne (25.50) took full advantage of not having Harrison in the line up and scores big again this week. The babysrus have scored the points this season and are 5th in points ranking so a playoff berth is not out of the question, he will need to get past the Libre’s in the rankings to get there…is this a rivalry…for sure.

The Libre’s learned the hard way…in fantasy don’t count your wins until MNF. The Libre’s had a solid week with three receivers scoring 20 points or more, Gates (22.5), Colston (28) and Galloway (20). Finally, Colston showed his fantasy value this season, it was about time. Ladanian was surprisingly quite this week with 9.5 points. The Libre’s are in desperate need of an upgrade in QB having only Eli (8) and Pennington (5) to rely on. Psst Hong, Pennington has been benched.

Fobsters (107) vs Old English (98)
I claim this to be “McGriddle Bowl”. Ahh the infamous McGriddle that no one will ever get to eat was placed on the betting block this week. With the loss, the OE are faced with two straight loses and a debt to be re-paid with a delicious sausage with cheese placed between two pancakes filled with sweet syrup crystals. The OEs QBs are out standing carrying the team with Peyton (20) and Derek Anderson (24). The rest of the team was pathetic scoring an average of 4.14 points each except of course for their DEF. The SD Def put up a ridiculous 25 points this week, and if it weren’t for them this would have been a blow out. Can the OE’s rebound from their two straight loses, it will a tough battle indeed as they face the Jedi Knights next week.

The Fobsters are at 5-3 with all three loses coming from the top three teams. He already avenged the lost to the OE are the other two next? The Fobsters had a great week from Westbrook (22) and Jennings (23) and a solid week from Garcia (15) and Rivers (18). The rest of the team needs work. Chad hasn’t been playing to his potential with TJ outscoring him in fantasy for the season. Ahman is still hurt and Shaun Alexander has been really unproductive. The Fobsters need some help in order to contend for the title.

Next Week's Game to Watch
Old English vs Jedi Knights
Which team will break their 2 game losing streak...tune in next week.

Week 7

Despite picking up their first win this week, there’s no question that the previously winless babysrus is struggling. The question is, can anything be done to help them climb out of the cellar? This season or the next? Well, as we’ll see, not all is lost. Gene had quite a nice stretch in Wks 2 – 3 with 141.50 and 127.50 points. Tragically, they were outscored both weeks but that means this team isn’t horrible. Then again, during Wks 4 – 6, they were unable to get over the century mark. Let’s take a closer look at what’s going on.

The passing game should be in good hands with Donovan McNabb and Jay Cutler but it looks like neither are performing at quality levels. Both are averaging around 15 points per game but you really want your QBs to be near the 20+ range. Donovan McNabb has had two outstanding games this season but of late, he’s cooled off. Forced to choose between David Garrard and Kurt Warner as his second QB for most of the season, Gene has cut the cord on both in order nab Jay Cutler, who finally had a good game this week.

Disappointing RB Cedric Benson was also cut in the process and while we might argue that he was worth a spot on the bench, Gene’s got a stable of RBs. Willie Parker has been excellent all season, yards wise, and the return of Rudi Johnson should help tremendously. Even Marshawn Lynch and Brandon Jacobs are serviceable backs and fully capable of being number two ball carriers.

Hell, we like the WRs here a lot too. Terrell Owens is riding high with over 13 points a game and Reggie Wayne has been as steady as ever. New Chiefs WR Dwayne Bowe has flashed his talent during his first season, as has young Broncos’ WR Brandon Marshall. The receiving corp has two established stars and young productive talent behind them.

So how is this team 1-6? The answer might be that they lack explosion. Without QBs capable of steadying the ship, babysrus has been experiencing rough going. Every player on the roster is pretty decent but averaging 8-12pts each won’t get this team that far. They need some boom bam explosion and aside from Donovan’s Week Three 33 point explosion, this team hasn’t had much of it. Anytime a player on the roster scores over 20+ points, he’s been on Gene’s bench.

Our suggestion is to sit tight, wait a few weeks to see if Donovan, Willie, Terrell, Reggie, and Rudi can pick it up, and then maybe think about moving a few of them for guys with more upside. All the stars are excellent but they simply aren’t producing enough big games.

This week’s win was legit though despite Galvez leaving out half his team. Gene had wonderful performances all around (excepting David Garrard) and when he’s clicking on all cylinders, he should be able to maintain

Nacho Libre’s (113.00) vs Jedi Knights (86.50)
The injured list for Lum reads: Deion Branch, Steven Jackson, Todd Heap, and Andre Johnson. With a team weakened by injuries and byes, the Knights couldn’t put up much resistance against the Nacho Libre’s despite Tom Brady’s extraordinary 41 point performance. Hong’s team didn’t show much either, but 20 points from RB LenDale White was enough to lead the team to victory. Again, a strong performance by the Seahwaks defense (21 points) provided the difference. Is it time to call Marques Colston super bust?!

Dirty Birds (137.50) vs Old English (121.00)
Wes Welker ignites for 29.5 points and cements himself as a break-out receiver option. With every other skill player recording double digits – outside of QB Jon Kitna – Jon delivers Eric’s Old English team only their second loss of the season. Old English had their own receiver ignition with Laveranues Coles’ 29 points but in the end, it wasn’t quite enough. Losing Ronnie Brown for the season might slow down Eric’s team some, but with the way the rest of his team is playing, it might not hurt all that bad.

RazoRamon (134.50) vs Fobsters (121.50)
Star power wins games. Randy Moss wins games. With Ben Roethlisberger and Randy Moss hooking up for 26 points each, Ryan took a high scoring, but easy win to the bank. Jimmy somehow managed to score 121.50 points but no player really stood out. Brian Westbrook has really cooled off recently and with only 14 points this week, he wasn’t pulling his weight – especially compared to the second RB, Marion Barber’s, 17 points. Jimmy’s WRs look good though, as Chad Johnson, Jerricho Cotchery, Hines Ward, and youngsters Greg Jennings and Calvin Johnson are all solid options.

Week 6

This is definitely turning into a season of the have’s and have-not’s. Two teams have scored over 800 points for the season. Another two have scored over 700, but the rest of the league is barely pushing the 600 mark. In more important news, Ryan is leading the way with 25 waiver moves, with Gene close behind at 21. There’s no ring for making moves guys, just for winning.

Jedi Knights (192.50) vs Brown Stars (136.50)
Good god! The Jedis explode for a record setting 192.50 points behind Tom Brady’s 37 points and Adrian Peterson’s 40.5. In a normal week, the contributions of WRs Braylon Edwards (26.5) and Kevin Curtis (20.5) would have been impressive but they were just icing on the cake for Chris this week. Galvez put up a good fight but only Matt Hasselbeck was able to break the twenty point barrier and that’s not going to cut it.

Fobsters (89.00) vs babysrus (76.00)
Listen, Gene, if you were gonna win one this season, this was the week. Jimmy only put up 89 points total, led by Jeff Garcia (17) and Brian Westbrook (18). If you can’t score over 89 points, then you’re in big trouble. I mean, c’mon! This is embarrassing. Sure, all of your best players were on bye, but still. You know, for my other keeper league, Jimmy went 0-13 last season. Are you headed in the same direction?

Nacho Libre’s (163.00) vs Dirty Birds (84.50)
With beat downs being the theme of the week, Hong took out all his repressed anger by almost doubling Jon’s score this week. First overall pick LDT finally notched a huge game (45.5) and with a matching breakout game by Maurice Jones-Drew (31 pts), the Nacho’s got their second win of the season. The Dirty Birds only had TJ Houshmandzadeh show up on Sunday (30 pts) but he wasn’t capable of dragging his team anywhere near a win.

Old English (136.00) vs RazoRamon (92.00)
Even as Tony Romo cools off, Eric’s other QB, Derek Anderson heats up (31 pts). Is there no stopping the English invasion? They tacked up 136 points with Peyton on the bench! Eric has scored more than anybody else in the league, he’s on a four game win streak, he’s like the Adrian Peterson of our league. Ryan tried to win a round of golf but his team fell apart due lack of a passing game. Daunte Culpepper, Randy Moss, Jason Witten, and Santana Moss combined for only 26 points.

Next week: Gaga turns into Nancy ____.

Week 5

A week of upsets, come back wins and the lowest scoring for all the teams...the Black Hole was filled with excitement in Week 5

Brown Stars (102) vs Dirty Birds (88.50)
The Stars lucky number has to be 102…for two weeks in a row the Brown Stars score 102 points pulling a huge upset win against the Birds. It was a disappointing week for the Birds as Boldin was kept in the roster even though he was a game time decision. Reggie Bush did have a solid week with 119 all purpose yards but with no touchdowns to show for it. Favre (16) was having a great game until two interceptions in the second half leading Green Bay to their first lose of the season. The NE Defense scored 17 pts helping their team improve to 5-0. Torry Holt had a respectable 18.50 points but the rest of the team isn’t even worth mentioning.

What made this loss even more embarrassing is the fact Brown Stars Top 2 RBs and Top 2 QBs scored a total of 8.5 Points. The Brown Stars left Maroney in the roster and he didn’t play but what’s with Larry Johnson 12 yards rushing? With Boldin out Fitzgerald carried the team with 23.50 points along side the dependable Plaxico (20.5). Trent Green maybe out for the season but Jason Campbell is sitting pretty on the bench with 22 points this week. The Stars play the Knights next week “The battle of the Michigan boys.”

Fobsters (87) vs Jedi Knights (73)
The Fobsters claiming that the Knights “force is no good against the FOB” pulled the other upset win in the league. The FOBs was lead by Phillip Rivers, who actually held onto the ball this week, scoring a team high 27 points. Jeff Garcia is looking good contributing 15 points with 2 TDs and 0 Int. Jennings had a respectable 16 points but top pick Shaun Alexander had a disappointing 3.5 points. The Fobs improve to 3-2 above the .500 mark and holding strong to a playoff spot.

The Knights had a peculiar week with 3 players on byes and 3 being hurt the Knights were hurting for able bodied starters, having to leave Adrian Peterson who is on a bye and Steven Jackson who is hurt in the lineup. Brady is Mr. Consistent with 25 pts and Braylon put up 14 pts. But when your Kicker (Neil – 12 pts) scores more than three of your WR combined it’s not a good week. The Knights look to bounce back next week and end their current two game losing streak.

Old English (102.5) vs Nacho Libre’s (83)
It’s sad when the only team in the league who votes for you to win is yourself. The Libre’s comment of “I hate football” is the same statement spoken by the GM last season around this time. The week Michael Turner is placed on the bench he scores 20 points and Maurice Jones-Drew after having a horrible season comes up with 18.5. Putting in Javon Walker for two weeks in a row when he has been ruled out to play is a baffling move even for the Libre’s. Gates put in a good week with 20.50 but with LT not scoring TDs this season the Libre’s fall to 1-4.

The English had a solid week with six players scoring double digits. Leading the way is this seasons surprise fantasy back Ronnie Brown with 22.5. Steve Smith and Laveranues played respectably with 2 points and Manning had a mediocre performance with 18 points. The OEs improve to 4-1 and are top of the league with combined score of 699. They are looking to prepare for next weeks game picking up two QBs on the waiver wire.

RazoRamon (102) vs babysrus (89)
Much Love was pronounced early in the week and phone numbers exchanged as these two best friends battle it out. The babysrus still looking for their first victory of the season was poised and ready to get the monkey of their back. The Ramons were visible upset with Addai not playing when all the notes said he would…Damn you Yahoo. The game was exciting; the lead was exchanged several times on Sunday. Going into Monday Night Football the babyrus had a comfortable lead of 76 to 65.5 with Owens, Lynch and the Dallas Def still up to go for the babysrus and only a TE (Witten) and K (Folk) left to play for the Ramons. Thinking he had the win the GM of the babysrus, drops the Dallas Def to pick up Kurt Warner after hearing of the season ending injury to Leinert.

The GM of the RazoRamon seeing this move quickly comments on the action and hopes that Karma bites the babysrus in the ass. And karma prevails the RazoRamon pulls of the amazing come from behind win with Witten scoring 20.5 points and Folk punching in a season high four field goals scoring 16 points. When asked how he feels the GM of the babysrus says “I think I should quit this game” Will the babysrus ever get a win?

Next Week's Game to Watch
RazoRamon vs Old English
The 4-1 teams battle it out to take sole possession of first place.

Since I’m a numbers geek something of interest: three of the winners this week scored 102-102.5, maybe 102 isn’t just the lucky number of the Brown Stars.

By Ryan

Week 4

Dirty Birds (109.00) vs Fobsters (44.50)
This is an embarrassment. Heading into Monday night, Jimmy only had 20+ points on the board. That’s um. Disgusting. Not one player on the Fobsters notched double digit points – well, three did, but they’re on the bench. Here’s a ticket to NFL Europe Jimmy, see you next year.

RazoRamon (129.00) vs Jedi Knights (95.00)
Nice, a real game to review. The Knights were the king of the hill coming into Week 4. Three straight wins, an outstanding roster, and plenty of power behind their running and passing game. Well, running into a razor’s edge surely stopped the Jedis cold didn’t it? Led by MVP-candidate Randy Moss (26.5), Ryan’s team punished the Knights on the ground (Joseph Addai, 21.5) and through the air (Jason Witten, 16).

Lum’s team is still looking pretty spectacular with Tom Brady and Carson Palmer leading the charge but now that Steven Jackson is nutted up, maybe the ground game will falter a bit. The Jedis weren’t really relying on the disappointing Jackson anyway though, since young WRs Braylon Edwards, Roy Williams, and Bernard Berrian (37.5 pts combined) are growing up fast. WR Andre Johnson remains sidelined for the Knights and until he and Jackson return, the Jedis could be in for a rough few weeks.

Old English (176.00) vs babysrus (98.50)
Man, those Old English bastards are good aren’t they? After coming out of the gate with two 150+ scores, they put up a doozy of a week with 176 this week to thoroughly trash the babysrus’. Early season MVP Tony Romo slapped up 34 points, Peyton Manning and WR Santonio Holmes connected for 27 points each, and RB Ronnie Brown went wild for a second week in a row (29). The only bad news facing this team is the loss of LaMont Jordan, possibly for a week or two.

Gene’s team on the other hand, is scoring and making a league-leading 18 waiver moves, but they sure aren’t winning. Donovan McNabb had a piss poor day (4 pts), Willie Parker and Terrell Owens flopped, and only rookie stud in the making WR Dwayne Bowe (26) came out to play on Sunday. When will Gene get a win? How about if people stop putting up ridiculous games against him? The last three weeks have seen opponents explode for 147, 162, and now 176 points. Gene must play no defense – only dragons.

Brown Stars (102.50) vs Nacho Libre’s (87.50)
The battle of two bottom feeders resulted in Galvez pulling out a sneaky win versus Hong. Both teams have lost three games already this young season so pride was on the line. Who needs pride when you’ve got big muscles like Galvez though? QB Matt Hasselbeck pumped out 20 points, Larry Johnson had a respectable 15.5 points, and four other players contributed double digits to push the Stars over the hump for a big win, their first. They probably could have won by a bit more if Laurence Maroney had been pulled but really, who knew he was going to be sitting out Monday night?

Hong’s big game plan these days is to play BOTH Chargers’ running backs. They combined for 21.5 points. LDT had 23.5, Michael Turner had -2. Whoops. In good news, the Seahawks defense is super sleeper and has been stellar this season (16 this week). It’s nice of Hong to match the real life Chargers’ 1-3 record but he should really aim higher – snatching DeShaun Foster off waivers was a nice move though.

Week 3

Dirty Birds (189.5) vs RazoRamon (108.50)
The Battle for OH2000 was declared by the Dirty Birds early in the week. Winner stays Loser goes. This game wasn’t even close as the commish amasses the highest point totals in a week for the season. The Birds QBs, Brett Favre (30) and Jon Kitna (24) put in a great week, but it’s the receiver core of the Birds that he is most proud of, TJ (24), Anquan (37) and Driver (21). The lone blemish for the week was the performance of Frank Gore (5) and Torry Holt (8.5). However Reggie Bush (18) showed some promise.

It’s to bad RazoRamon couldn’t say the same thing about their number 1 pick Drew Brees, who put in a horrible display able to get 1 lonely point. The Razors only bright spot for the week is the consistent performance of Addai (21.5) and Moss (25.5). Was this a lucky week for the commish or will this be the year he proves his knowledge of football will finally get him a championship. So tell him what he’s won! A stay at the fabulous OH2000 complete with 99 ranch smell and frozen ants!

Jedi Knights (162) vs Babysrus (127.5)
The Knights are good…scary good. Even their bench was able to get 85 Points and with a player (A.Johnson) not even playing the week (enough points to beat the Nacho’s by the way). The team was lead with Brady (29) and Roy Williams (30) but the rest of the team (not including the defense and TE) all contributed double digits this week. The Knights with a well balanced team find themselves 3-0 and proving itself to be the team to beat this year.

The Babysrus can’t say the same falling to 0-3 and their GM, Gene Sung Kim is scrambling to figure out the cause. The waiver wire has been hit up this year by the team with 15 moves! The team can take solace on the fact that Donovan McNabb (33) has come out of his funk putting up 381 yds with 4 TDs. DeShaun Foster had a good week against the Falcons, which he has always done well against, scoring 25.50 points, it’s to bad he was on the bench. The Babys week was not bad but it just wasn’t enough force to beat the Jedis this week.

Fobsters (139) vs Nacho Libre’s (79)
The Fobsters were able to pull a win this week despite their #1 QB, Marc Bulger, putting up dismal -1 points (yes that is a negative sign before the number). But with Brian Westbrook contributing 42.50 and Rivers 25 and Marion Barber 23.50 they easily handed a loss to the Libre’s. When asked how he feels the GM of the Fobsters, Jimmy “I should marry Carol” Wu replies “I are numbah won!” Right after the week was over the GM of the Libre’s dropped their #2 QB Rex Grossman faster than dropping girls he finds at clubs.

The high scorers for the Libre’s were Tomlinson (16.5) and Gates (16.5) but still a disappointing show for those two juggernauts. The rest of the team scored in the single digits including all the players on the bench, so the Libre’s need to either make trades or fish from the waiver wire to have any hope this year. The Libre’s trouble can be traced from the draft when they picked Gates (#2) and Maurice Jones (#3) when so many other options where available. Coincidently Maurice Jones scored 3 points this week, Yea!.

Old English (116.5) vs Brown Stars (92.5)
This was the first week that Old English scored below 150 points, but still handed the BrownStars their third straight loss. The OE, although new to the league is showing they know their football. Late Draft Pick Tony Romo (22) scored more than number one pick Peyton (17) this week and the best waiver wire pick of the season, Lamont Jordan also scored 22 points. However last weeks star Steve Smith was only able to get 1.5 pts this week but not to worry he should be back on his game next week.

With the GM of the BrownStars focusing on his book tour and less on playing his magical recorder the team finds themselves 0-3. The Stars failed to break the century mark and in this league it will almost certainly equate to a loss. The team was led by Delhomme (20) and Plaxico (16.5). However with Lienert scoring 2 points and Larry Johnson putting up only 4.5 points the team’s outlook this year is bleak. But next weeks game against the Nacho Libre’s can be the teams best chance at their first win since the game will feature the two lowest scoring teams of the league.

Next Weeks Game to Watch: RazoRamon vs Jedi Knights
Will the Razors be able to hand the Knights their first lost of the season, stay tune for next weeks recap!

Contributed by Ryan

Week 2

RazoRamon (142.50) vs Nacho Libre's (92.50)
As RazoRamon (no double "R") pointed out, Hong almost had more points from his bench than his starters. While this is a bit of hyperbole, there's no discounting the fact that Joey Galloway's 27 points were sitting on the sidelines while the Nachos only managed to get halfway decent games from the receiving trio of Antonio Gates (16.5), Marques Colston (17), and Javon Walker (14). The Razors had their stars on the field and were amply rewarded with the performance from a truly resurgent Randy Moss (26 pts), along with another nice week from Edgerrin James (21). What is this? 2004?

Dirty Birds (147.00) vs babysrus (141.50)
And we all fall down...easily. Or not so easily in Dave's Son's case as he almost pulled out a Monday night victory but Donovan McNabb wasn't quite up to the task of taking out the Dirty Birds. The Birds had a pretty even week with Brett Favre, Frank Gore, and TJ Houshmandzadeh all putting up 20+ numbers. Babysrus came up 5.5 points shy despite nice performances from Rudi Johnson (20 pts) and Terrell Owens (17.5). In all, it was a nail biter of a week but hardly the stuff of legend despite the close score.

Jedi Knights (173.50) vs Old English (154.00)
Now THIS was an exciting game. With Tom Brady (23) and Andre Johnson (27.5) on one side versus Steve Smith (37) and Tony Romo (20) on the other, this game was see-sawing back and forth all Sunday long. Well, until Carson Palmer started inching from good game to magical game to legendary game as the afternoon went along. With a whopping 400 yards, six touchdowns, and 41 points, Carson insured a pretty big win for the Jedis. Old English had an outstanding Week 1 but against the Palmer-Brady-Johnson trio, even he couldn't do anything.

Fobsters (158.00) vs Brown Stars (105.50)
After putting up a putrid 72 points last week, could the Brown Stars outshine their opening week performance? Well, sort of. While putting up over 100+ points this week is commendable, losing by 40+ isn't an achievement worth noting. I mean, what's wrong with this team? Oh, there's no running attack to speak of whatsoever as Larry Johnson and Laurence Maroney are underachieving. The other Larry, Larry Fitzgerald, isn't exactly doing awesome either.

Who is doing awesome is Chad Johnson -- who scored a whopping 37.5 points this week after 17.5 last week. It looks like Jimmy's got a strong running attack too as Shaun Alexander, Brian Westbrook, and Marion Barber III are all looking legit (54 pts combined).

Week 1

Jedi Knights (119.00) vs Dirty Birds (83.00)
What an inglorious way for the Birds to start off the season. With inspirational leader Michael Vick facing jail time, the Ewing Theory was nowhere in effect as QBs Vince Young and Brett Favre combined for a mere 15 points. While the receiving corps performed admirably -- Torry Holt (17), TJ Houshmandzadeh (15.5), Anquan Boldin (11) -- the rest of the team flopped. The Jedi Knights had a rough off-season but came out with an emotional win behind Tom Brady's easy breazy cover girl 26 points and new favorite target Andre Johnson (21.5). The Knights may also have made the find of the year with rookie RB Adrian Peterson, who tallied an impressive 22.5 points and is suddenly looking at a full time starting job.

Razor Ramons (142.50) vs Brown Stars (72.00)
Hey Ryan, somebody forgot the "R" at the end of Razor. Or did you just leave it out to be cool? After nearly doubling up the moribund Brown Stars, the Ramons probably don't have too much to worry about. Especially since they were up early Sunday morning already picking up FAs. What this means is that Ryan is dedicated to another powerful regular season. The new passing attack of Ben Roethlisberger to Randy Moss could result in many victories while old-time Razor favorite Edgerrin James finally showed some signs of life with 18 points. Combine the former Indy back with the current Indy back (J.Addai, 20.5 points) and the Razors are looking sharp already.

Galvez on the other hand, didn't have any player crack the twenty point mark. Except, well, Plaxico Burress, who had the game of his life (36 pts) from the bench. How'd his replacement Vincent Jackson do? Well, 3.5 points. Ouch. The good news is that Galvizi is clearly a San Diegan now as Charger hype has clearly dulled his football senses.

Nacho Libre's (116.00) vs babysrus (104.50)
Has fatherhood affected Gene's game? Well, it's hard to tell when you're playing the ultimate predictable but unpredictable bachelor, Mr Pan. The aptly named babysrus certainly gave birth to plenty of receiver fireworks -- Terrell Owens and Reggie Wayne (36 pts combined) -- but it looks like there's no father figure in the backfield. Donovan McNabb and Alex Smith took a dump and score 18 points total. That's eleven less than the Nacho's Eli Manning, who got injured, but caught enough fire to put up 29 points. Add in the intimidating San Diego passing connection of LaDainian Tomlinson to Antonio Gates (41 pts combined) and Hong looks like he might have a contender this year.

Old English (150.00) vs Fobsters (133.50)
Has an expansion team/owner ever come into a league with so much thunder? The Fobsters had an amazing week with eight players in double figures (led by Shaun Alexander's 18 pts) but they still lost quite handily. Proving that nothing slips by Old English, Eric-A's team had Peyton Manning's 26 points on Thursday night but then saw that score get dwarfed by his other quarterback's five touchdowns and 38 points. Hot damn, Tony Romo for MVP! Add in the contributions of speedy smurf Steve Smith (20.5) and a little bit of running by Travis Henry (18.5) to keep defenses honest and Eric-A looks like the league leader after Week 1. What a debut for Old English...

Super Bowl II

Fobulous (132.00) vs Dukes of Hazard (107.50)

With another big upset under their belt, Fobulous becomes the second champion in Black Hole history. Despite entering the post-season as only a fourth seed, Jimmy's team was the dark horse contender simply because of LaDainian Tomlinson.

Showing a savvy beyond the skills of his English, Jimmy worked all year long to secure a roster worthy of being called "Champion." On Christmas day, Jimmy and his Buddhist beliefs took it to the mouth of Gene and Jesus by socking them in the mouth -- and winning handily by 24.5 points. Take that Son of God! Ohm-me-to-fo...

The Dukes of Hazzard didn't just roll over -- perhaps they bent over just a little -- but their effort came up a bit short. Starting off Sunday with some success, the Dukes fell behind early -- Cedric Benson (5), Reggie Wayne (3.5), Antonio Gates (7) -- but fought back hard behind stud running backs Shaun Alexander (27) and Reggie Bush (21). The problems started however, when the passing attack stalled behind QBs Tony Romo (11) and Jay Cutler (14), and most of all, Smurf-sized star WR Steve Smith racked up a hum-dinger, zero. Gene's Kansas City Defense gave it a go, 16 points, but were obviously unable to overcome the potent offense that Jimmy was packing.

Fobulous had ridden the hard charging legs of LaDainian Tomlinson and Brian Westbrook all season long but the two All-Pros combined for only 26.5 points this week -- that's usually just one good half for LDT. Terrell Owens (9) and Anquan Boldin (8) didn't exactly step up either, as they faced double coverage all day.

However, all the attention on these four stars freed WR Bernard Berrian for 12.5 points and gave Maurice Jones-Drew the room to rumble for 32 points! Jeff Garcia (17) has been a revelation for the Eagles and has been steady for Jimmy during the last few weeks. Old war horse Brett Favre -- and Jimmy's favorite Madden football player -- can finally ride off into the sunset with a championship, despite having a sub-par performance, 10 points. And look, a championship for John Carney too, who was delighted to be off of the El Nino's and booted in 12 points to cap the victory.

So, as much as I hate to say it, Jimmy's Fobulous is our champion! Long live Taiwan! Is Jimmy even aware that he won? I think he's on vacation with his girlfriend. Fantasy Champion + Girlfriend = Jimmy? 2006 has been the year of many firsts for Jimmy. Right?

Playoffs: Semi-Finals

Fobsters 142.50 vs Razor Ramon 139.00
Why have the best record when you can have the best player? Proving once again that stars step up when it's crunch time, the best player in the world, LaDainian Tomlinson, led the way to a huge upset with 31.5 points on Sunday. Finishing one yard shy of 200 yards and two TDs (one on a spectacular 80+ yard run), LDT is showing that he can't be stopped.

The Razors didn't have a bad week but they sure didn't seem to have enough to fend off LT and the boys. RB Stephen Jackson did his best LDT impersonation with 24 points but he wasn't even Brian Westbrook (27.5). After that, the disappointments for the Razors piled up. QBs Drew Brees and Tom Brady totaled 21 points; Ahman Green only had 14.5 pts; Plaxico has a respectable 15.

Struggling with indecision before the games, Ryan went with Marques Colston over Terry Glenn -- both WRs got 11.5 pts, no loss there. Maybe Lee Evans would have been the better choice (13.5) but why quibble over two points when you're likely to lose by twenty? Back to those QBs. Brees has been a monster this year but maybe Brady could have picked it up a notch since he was playing the hapless Houston Texans -- Mike Vick had 30 on the bench. Beat a team 40-7 and only rack up 13 fantasy points Tom? Ryan hates you right now. Barring a miracle outing from Marvin Harrison on MNF, the great regular season by Ryan will be only a memory as Jimmy takes him down for the third time this year.

Speaking of those Fobsters. It wasn't just the LaDainian Tomlinson show. You don't score 140+ on the back of one great back. The aforementioned Brian Westbrook had 27.5 points and Terrell Owens contributed 20.5. One man's loss is another man's gain as Freddy Taylor's early injury may have doomed Jon to a loss, but Maurice Jones-Drew exploded for 20.5 to match Owens. The passing game is a bit of a weak spot as Fobster QBs Brett Favre and Jeff Garcia combined for only 16 points; as well as weak performances from WRs Anquan Boldin (8.5) and Bernard Berrian (6). Still, we're not looking for perfection here, just wins.

Jimmy is looking like the prohibitive favorite entering the Super Bowl -- he's no regular fourth seed underdog, not with LDT playing the way he is.

MNF - Well, Marvin gave it the old college go didn't he? Eight catches, three TDs and 30 points. Tragically, the Razors needed 34 to win. Ouch.

Dukes of Hazzard (112.00) vs Dirty Birds (63.50)
The Dirty Birds are on their way to a flame out. Sure there's Monday Night left but really, can Carson Palmer, TJ Housmanzedeh and Bengals D take on a 40-point deficit and Reggie Wayne? GM Yang had wanted to stick RB Joseph Addai in his lineup but was late to the computer and was instead left with the turd that Fred Taylor dropped (3 pts) on his way to another injury. The Birds' motto this year is "Never say die, keep flying high!" but it's looking grim as the end of their season nears. Their highest scorer this week? Donald Driver with 10.5 points. Marc Bulger (6), Larry Johnson (9.5), Torry Holt (7), and Larry Fitzgerald (9.5) all crapped out and will be fired immediately following the loss.

It's not like the Dukes had a great week. They will score enough to win, but they didn't have anyone go huge. Solid performances from QBs Ben Roethlisberger (18) and Tony Romo (19) paved the running lanes for RBs Willie Parker (19) and Shaun Alexander (13). WRs Steve Smith and Antonio Gates combined for an ugly 8 points but together, the team should have done enough to advance to the Super Bowl.

This marks the second straight year that Gene will have eliminated Jon on the road to the championship. A true rivalry in the making.

MNF - Well, Reggie Wayne single-handedly outscored the three Bengals -- 17.50 to 16 -- and that puts the nail in the coffin on the Dirty Birds. Good night kids. Never take anyone but Tomlinson with the first pick -- huge mistake.

Playoffs: Opening Round

Dirty Birds (132.00) vs Jedi Knights (76.00)
The Knights have had trouble at the QB position all year and in the end, it was the failures of Jake Delhomme and Chad Pennington that sunk them. The two combined for 8 points total and that's hardly going to win crucial playoff matchups. In fact, the only players who can stick their head high after this game is the surprising Braylon Edwards (16) and Kevin Jones (15). In a coincidence, Jones plays for the Detroit Lions and Braylon Edwards was once a Michigan Wolverine. Go Blue?

The Birds didn't have to rely on hometown heroes to put points on the board and took to the air with TJ Houshmandzadeh (21), Larry Fitzgerald (16.50), Torry Holt (22) and the explosion by Donald Driver (26.5). Tragically, this team has some holes since 2nd QB David Garrard totalled 1 point and 2nd RB Joseph Addai only added 3.5. Still, a win's a win!

Fobulous (145.50) vs Brown Starz (116.00)
The Chinese crew took another one this week as Jimmy eliminates Galvez after a heated battle. In the end, up-and-coming Vince Young (22) helped LaDainian (28.5) -- only first names for him now -- to comfortably win in this first round matchup. LT now has the TD record and a chance to match up with the goliath team, Razor Ramon. Which squad is more scared heading into the semis? The league leading Razors? Or the LT led Fobulous? Tough call -- do we smell upset?

The Starz had Rudi Johnson rumble for 21 points and a good overall effort from Jamal Lewis (14) and Darrell Jackson (14.5), but if you're going against a hot team, you're gonna need more than 19 from your All-Pro quaterback, Peyton Manning. Without his superstar play, the Starz take one on the noggin and exit the playoffs.

Next week: The Semi-Final, the best matchups ever? Tbd.

Week 13

Fobulous (140.00) vs Razor Ramon (138.50)
It's official, the Razors are nigh invulnerable and will finish the regular season at 10-3. Quite a feat considering that one of their top playeres, QB Michael Vick, has been erratic as hell. Still, he carried the team early on and then Drew Brees (obtained in exchange for WR Muhsin Muhammad) took over. This week, WR Marvin Harrison took over the reins (26.5) and powered Razor to a strong win. We'll announce our MVP for the season but it's going to be hard to not pick a player from the best team in the league.

The Fobulous ones took out Razor Ramon last time they matched up, but unless QB Jeff Garcia and RB Brian Westbrook combine for 47 points, they're gonna have to take a hit on their record and fall to exactly 0.500 (6-6-1) heading into the post-season. LaDainian Tomlinson continues his MVP-type performance (31.5) and for the first time in years, is not dinged up heading into the fantasy playoffs. Fobulous may not have the best regular season record, but nobody wants to face the LT-Train come playoff time.

MNF Update: It's a Monday Night comeback! Jeff Garcia is a blast from the past and goes wild with 28 pts! Brian Westbrook goes for 20! The Fobsters win by 1.5 points! It's a miracle! Too bad it's a meaningless game at the end of the season. Still, the Fobulous ones prove that they can beat the Razors -- again.

Dukes of Hazzard (112.50) Brown Starz (89.50)
Forget simply winning for pride, Gene and his Dukes need to make sure that Steve Smith and DeAngelo Williams combine for over 17.5 points to take out Galvez, otherwise they'll take a loss and lose out on a bye to the Dirty Birds. Nobody wants to lose out on a playoff bye in the first round. Let's see if Steve Smith can pull through on MNF; it's hard to bet against this mighty mite. Other than that, the story of the week is RB Reggie Bush, who finally exploded for 40+ points and 4 TDs -- all while sitting on the bench. Whoops. Still, the Dukes head into the post-season on quite a roll (five wins in a row if they win this week) and stand a good chance to take a ring. QB Tony Romo can't throw up another dud though, with only 9 points.

The Brown Starz have been an up-and-down team all season. QB Peyton Manning has been steady but hardly spectacular, and he might cool his jets once the Colts secure home field advantage. In the meantime, the other QB spot is in turmoil for the Starz. I mean, if your QB (Brad Johnson) gets negative 5 points, that's turmoil right? The Starz are consistent (only 2 weeks not hitting the century mark) but they usually hover around the low 100's. That might not be enough come playoff time. The Bears D is going to have to continue playing tough (23 points) in order for the Starz to make an impact in the coming weeks.

MNF Update: DeAngelo Williams explodes for 26.5 points and Steve Smith notches 14 to secure the win -- and the coveted bye -- for the Dukes. Vacation time for Gene's boys! (That does not mean going commando buddy...)

Dirty Birds (114.50) vs Pizza the Hut (98.00)
Trent Green's back! With 26 points, Mr Green came back triumphantly, just in time for...another Pizza the Hut loss. How the mighty have fallen. A ring in hand does not insure a playoff spot does it? Tiki and Chad may be primetime players, but they haven't been able to carry the defending champions to too many wins. But hey, at least the Huts didn't finish last!

The Birds are hoping to sneak their way into a playoff bye, just like Florida snuck their way into a BCS title game. Even though they probably don't deserve to get a bye (the Dukes beat them two weeks ago), they could if the Dukes falter on Monday Night. With a strong passing attack -- led by Torry Holt (20.5), TJ Houshmandzadeh (21) and Larry Fitzgerald (12.5) -- the Birds are capable of putting up big numbers. For them to win a championship though, they're going to need Larry Johnson to turn it up a notch and prove that he was selected #1 overall for a reason.

Jedi Knights (109.00) vs El Nino's (78.5)
What an embarassing end to an embarassing season. The El Nino's could lose despite their opponent scoring only 73.00 points. Of course, they could also win as WR Donte Stallworth faces off against the Knight's Jake Delhomme and Keyshawn Johnson, but it's more likely that they'll lose and put a cap on their first to last season. QB Eli Manning finally emerged from a funk with 21 points but hey Eli, too little too late. Hong had a Midas touch earlier in the season but this time around, early season finds like Jerricho Cotchery (19.5), Marion Barber III (19) and Marty Booker (14.5) were left flailing on the bench. Plus, Hong moved away all the wrong New Orleans players; hanging onto injured WR Joe Horn while cutting RB Reggie Bush and trading away QB Drew Brees -- both of whom are on championship contending teams now.

The Jedi Knights will enter the playoffs as big underdogs (having lost three in a row and failing to top 100 points in three games) but at least they have a puncher's chance. They've made some bad moves this year too. Well, one bad move: QB Rex Grossman was acquired in exchange for WR Steve Smith. Not good. RB Ronnie Brown was moved for WR Hines Ward also, but that's a wash as both players are listed as "out." Can a team whose biggest star is um...Baltimore Defense...really win a championship? Maybe it's time for hometown hero RB Kevin Jones to start heating up and take the Knights through a winter ride they'll never forget; a ride towards a championship! KEVIN JONES!

MNF Update: Delhomme and Johnson combine for 36, Donte gets 19. Not quite enough for Hong to pull out of last place. Oh well, maybe next year.




Good luck in the playoffs everyone!

Week 12

Dirty Birds (121.50) vs El Nino's (62.50)
In a moment as delicious as it was certainly fated, the Dirty Birds eliminated the El Ninos' playoff hopes by beating them by a wide margin. One could call it stomping on their necks. It seems like Hong's Midas Touch has faded, as his twenty point scorers (Marion Barber, Devery Henderson, Marty Booker) all sat on the bench, along with Jerricho Cotchery and Brandon Jacobs -- both of whom scored more than anyone who started. Not gonna win a whole lot of games with Eli Manning as your best player, when he puts up only 11 pts no less. The Birds flew high behind Larry Johnson (21.5), a rejuvenated Carson Palmer (23), and a touch of TJ Houshmandzadeh (16.5) and Donald Driver (15). Perhaps this game might have been better as a bench brawl, as Jon left Joseph Addai's 45 points and Larry Fitzgerald's 22 pts on the hot seat. Still, a win is a win.

Dukes of Hazzard (123.00) vs Jedi Knighs (89.50)
Try as he might, Lum just can't stop the rampaging beast that is Gene. The Baltimore Defense put up a fabulous effort, 25 points, but effort only wins you cheers from the babes -- not actual wins. The Jedi Knights are star deprived and depleted, and they are limping into the playoffs with Delhomme and Pennington at the helm backed up by slumping stars like Hines Ward (5) and Warrick Dunn (11). The Dukes are just starting to warm up, with new Cowboy legend Tony Romo (35 points) flinging the ball to Steve Smith, Andre Johnson, and Reggie Wayne (37 points combined).

And look who's back just in time for the playoffs, number three overall pick, Shaun Alexander! With a nice debut of 20 points (on 40 carries for 200 yards), can Shaun power another team to a championship?

Fobulous (155.50) vs Pizza the Hut (113.00)
In a last ditch attempt to stay in playoff contention, Marcus marshalled his forces of evil (or ineptitude, however you want to see it) and tried to let Frank Gore power his way to victory. Gore's 24 points wasn't quite enough however. And even with the efforts of Matt Leinart (20), Tiki Barber (13.5), and Chad Johnson (15.5), the Huts are going to fall in defeat during the regular season -- before they even get the chance to defend their championship. Hey, at least they're out of the cellar -- Hi Hong!

Oh Jimmy, ride that LT train to victory! LT is the MVP this year, I don't care what anyone says. Another 26.5 points, this time supplemented by Brian Westbrook (25.5), Anquan Boldin (24.5), and Terrell Owens (20). If the Fobsters can capture lightning in a glass every week like this, they can beat anybody. It looks like they are currently on a one week on, one week off win-loss pattern. So whoever plays Jimmy in Round One, watch out!

Razor Ramon (154.50) vs Brown Starz (107.00)
If consistency is the hallmark of champions, then Ryan deserves the championship this year. He only has one game under the century mark (in WK 6) and five games over 130+. He's nigh invulnerable most weeks. Drew Brees, hit'em high with 25 points. Steven Jackson, hit'em low with 29.5 points. Chester Taylor will run (21.5), Michael Vick (20 pts) will pass -- sort of -- and Terry Glenn (22) will catch, and this team will win win win!

The Brown Starz remain an enigmatic team. W-W-L-W-T-L in the past six weeks. They can take you out if you're not looking, but aren't quite good enough to win if you focus hard on them. This team really needs QB Peyton Manning to step up. Brad Johnson should not be outscoring him (26 to 11) and if Peyton doesn't want to play fantasy MVP, who will on this team? Do you really want to rely on Rudi Johnson, Jamal Lewis, Roy Williams, or Darrell Jackson leading the championship drive? They're all nice players but they aren't Peyton now are they?


Next week: Dirty Birds versus The Dukes of Hazzard. Neither team play each other, but with Birds win and a Dukes loss, the Birds could sneak into a playoff bye. Unlikely, but possible. Other than that, it's just playoff jostling.

Week 11

We only got two more weeks here. Plus, the trade deadline is now over and done with. No more Brees-Muhammad, RonnieBrown-Ward, SteveSmith-Grossman trades. Now we strictly ride the horses we got. Hi ho Silver! Regulators, mount up!

Dukes of Hazzard (133.00) vs Dirty Birds (80.00)
Proving that the louder you squawk, the more people tune you out. The Dirty Birds had a huge win last week but came out to play for sole possession of 2nd place and well, crapped a big one. Ronnie Brown? Negative 2 points. Everyone score less than 7.5 points except for Carson Palmer (23) and Larry Johnson (27). Against a growling powerhouse like the Dukes, that's not gonna cut it. Exploding for 133 points, the Dukes rode Willie Parker (19), Steve Smith (17), and Reggie Wayne (20.5) to a win. Plus they picked up the disappointing Reggie Bush, reinvigorated him -- he went from a losing franchise to a winning one -- and he put in 14 points. But forget about football, Gene's going to be a daddy! Duke Jr!

Razor Ramon (113.50) vs Jedi Knights (62.50)
Despite historically collapsing in the second half, Ryan is proving that he's got a bit of stamina this year. Yes sir, with his QBs Drew Brees (500+ yards! 26 pts) and Tom Brady (25) leading the way, the Ramons almost doubled up Lum and his Jedi Knights. The Force is not with you Kevin Jones (0 pts), nor you Isaac Bruce (0.50), nor really, anyone else on the team. No Jedi player notched more than 11.50 points. Hum, that's not going to add up to a victory, not against a math whiz like Ryan! With a win in either of next two weeks, the Razors will secure the number one seed heading into the playoffs.

Fobulous (113.50) vs Brown Starz (113.50)
There's nothing more exciting than... a tie? Despite Galvez still trash-talking to last week's opponent, the Brown Starz rode recent acquisition Jamal Lewis (29.50 pts) to a heads up battle against LT (42.5) and the rest of the Fobulous -- otherwise known as "The LT Cheerleaders." To be quite honest, how can Jimmy have LT, far and away the best player in fantasy this year, and manage to only win 5 games? This team also has big names such as Brian Westbrook, Terrell Owens, Deuce McAllister, and Anquan Boldin on its roster. Only 5 wins? Does someone have his mind on pursuing a different kind of (relationship) championship? With this extraordinary tie, Galvez sneaks into the top three and has a chance to overtake Gene to get a bye in the playoffs. Never underestimate the heart of a champion!

Pizza the Hut (121.00) vs El Nino's (65.00)
Hey look, it's the Toilet Bowl three weeks early! These last place teams were so excited to be out of the playoffs they decided to play in WK11 just for a preview. Marcus got a win! Marcus got a win! As Hong finds new depths to sink to (bye bye Donovan, ouchy ouchy Marques Colston), Marcus comes on strong and rides Chad Johnson's 40 points to a well deserved win. Supporting best player awards go to Matt Leinart (21 pts) and Frank Gore (23). As for Hong's team, well, Thomas Jones scored 13! Woo-hoo!

Neither team is statistically eliminated from the playoffs yet, but barring two losses by Lum and two wins by either Marcus and Hong, we know which teams will be on the outside looking in come playoff time. However, winners never say "die" and both of these teams could still mess up the playoff matchups by pulling an pset or two in the coming weeks. Remember, it's never too early to play for the morale victory. "I'll make you famous....."

Week 10

Dirty Birds (146.50) vs Razor Ramon (102.00)
After riding high on his smack talk from last week, Ryan was taken down from behind (from, not "in the") by Jon. It was reminiscent of the time Jon pushed/nudged Ryan from behind in order to prevent him from catching a TD pass during the Galvez co-workers' Turkey Bowl. Just like that day, the Dirty Birds took out the Razors and left Ryan laying on the floor. Dirty Bird QB Carson Palmer blew up with 32 points, mainly to Donald Driver (28 pts) and the rest of the flock contributed enough to put up the Birds into 2nd place in the league. The Ramons put up a fight with Drew Brees (24) and Steven Jackson (22), but the WR crew failed to contribute in a big way -- M Harrison, Plaxico, and Mike Furrey combined for only 11 points. It's okay true believers, the Razors are still a game ahead of everyone else -- for now.

The Dukes of Hazzard (144.00) vs Pizza the Hut (105.50)
Speaking of smack downs, the Dukes put a hurting on the Huts -- plus they beat them on the football field. These little rim shot asides don't even work anymore do they? I need to re-think my comedic timing and train of thought. Anyway, the Dukes rode the fire hot Willie Parker (35 pts!), along with 20+ performances from both Tony Romo and Ben Roethlisberger to a big win. Was the trade for WR Steve Smith (24) the best one ever? Quite possibly. What has Lum gotten out of Rex Grossman? Nothing!

As for the Huts, well, it might be time to sound the alarm and enjoy last year's ring. Or maybe trade some of their pieces to a contender just to you know, mess things up. They did make a move for Damon Huard, but that seemed to not work out. RB Frank Gore (23) is still an animal but the rest of this team seems to have given up after another loss. Only three more weeks and the pain's all over Marcus!

Brown Starz (106.50) vs Jedi Knights (105.00)
Let's talk about some CLOSE games for a change. The Brown Starz edged out the Knights by 0.5 a few weeks ago, and they did it again! This time by 1.5 points. At this rate, a 2.5 blowout win by Galvez is scheduled to occur in the playoffs if these two teams meet up. I guess having the super steady Peyton Manning will win you some close games. Galvez keeps riding the efforts of Manning, the Bears D, and a smattering of help from a cast of Rudi Johnson, Darrell Jackson, or Roy Williams to keep the wins coming.

Lum seems to be the Bad News Bears, as he keeps on losing close matchups. Still, they are looking good as Hiines Ward and Kevin Jones is ready to power this team to a deep playoff run. Can the other RBs Warrick Dunn and Clinton Portis pick it up? Or will the Knights continue to lose these nail biters? Perhaps another trade is on the horizon?

Fobulous (149.50) vs El Nino's (137.00)
This high powered matchup mirrored the Chargers-Bengals game as both teams exploded. Hong was ready to rip shit up -- excuse the language -- and his team came out firing. WR stars Marques Colston (21) and Donte Stallworth (22) led the way for a balanced attack. Donovan, Thomas Jones, Marion Barber, and Muhsin Muhammad all have very nice games. But oh wait, Eli Manning, the Golden Child, had 0 points? What?

Did we mention that Jimmy had LaDainian EXPLODE for 42 points? Although half of Jimmy's team outright sucks, he's got LT and Westbrook (and TO) pulling the chains each week. That'll cover up for a lot of duds. Add in the mercurial Brett Favre and that makes Fobulous a stick of dynamite nobody wants to meet for in the playoffs. The good thing is, Jimmy can't quite put it together to win more than one game at a time, so it looks like Galvez is headed for another win next week -- historically.

Oh Hong, five losses in a row? Who's your fantasy guru now? Marcus?


Next week: Showdown between two former bottom dwellers who are once again #2 and #3 in the standings. Gene versus Jon! If you want to watch this drama unfold over 12 rounds, pony up for pay-per-view baby. Plus you'll get to see a football game.