Razor Ramon (123.00) vs Jedi Knights (121.00)
In a battle between the 2nd and 3rd place teams in the league, Razor Ramon reasserted themselves after a slight misstep last weekend. Proving that all it takes to eliminate a tough opponent is some young (S Jackson, 23 pts) and some old (T Glenn, 21.50), the Razors rode a balanced week, and the 18-pt golden foot of K Jeff Wilkins, to a tight victory. The Jedi Knights suffered a huge emotional loss in WK3 and this week was no better, as they fell short again on MNF -- Greg Jennings, why couldn't you score? In brighter news for the Jedi, Clinton Portis (20) and Steve Smith (19) are back and in full effect. These Madden foes might have matched up better if Chris had sneaked Kevin Jones (23.50) into the lineup over the moribund Warrick Dunn. But who could have seen that move? Look for the Knights to get stronger as we hit mid-season.
Update: Another Monday Night, another close loss for Chris. This time, Greg Jennings comes up two points short of a tie, three points short of a win. Next Monday perhaps? Galvez's K David Akers outscores both combined with a mere 8 points.
Brown Starz (135.00) vs Fobulouos (69.50)
It's not a stretch to say that Galvez kicked the living daylights out of top contender Jimmy this week. Nearly doubling Jimmy's score, the Brown Stars proved that last week's close win over the Jedi was no mind trick. With new RB Lamont Jordan contributing 20pts and a nice balanced effort by the rest of the team (Peyton and Brad Johnson combine for 34, the RBs combine for 27.50, and WR Roy Williams got a nice 17.50), Galvez had this game sewn up from the beginning. Fobulous barely put up an effort heading into MNF. The only players to get into triple digits were WRs Terrell Owens and Braylon Edwards, along with QB Drew Bledsoe. None of them notched more than 15 points -- bench WR Bernard Berrian would have contributed 17.5. Unless a miracle happens in Lambeau (B Favre and B Westbrook), Fobulous drops down to the rest of the pack. So Sowwy......
Update: Brian Westbrook doesn't play, and Brett Favre has the worst 2nd half ever. Game over.
El Nino's (139.50) vs Pizza the Hut (85.50)
Speaking of butt kicking, Pizza the Hut is having a hell of a year so far. His top two QBs contributed 8 pts, total. New star Frank Gore contributed 6 pts. Without Julius Jones' 18 pts and the help of Kellen Winslow (10.5), Laveranues Coles (11), and Reueben Droughns (11), the Huts would have been super crushed instead of crushed. Santana Moss and his 33 pts off of 3 TDs might have helped lessen the gap, but just barely. Actually, El Nino already has 100 pts heading into MNF with Donovan McNabb and Donte Stallworth on board. Those two will probably put up almost 40 pts together, pushing the Nino's into the stratosphere again. Hong's in the early running for GM of the year with such moves as Thomas Jones (22), Jerricho Cotchery (13.5), Marques Colston (21.5), and K Robbie Gould (14). Have you even heard of the last three guys before this season? And that trade for WR Muhsin Muhammad -- for QB Drew Brees -- seems to be working out as Muhsin put up 12.5. That's right, Hong's riding the Bears offense on the way to the top! Changing the fantasy football paradigm indeed. Outstanding.
Update: Yup, Donovan went crazy. He got 36, Donte Stallworth got 2.50, which is almost 40 points on the dot. I'm a genius. Or wait, Hong's a genius.
The Dukes of Hazzard (138.50) vs Dirty Birds (136.50)
Here we go, Battle of the Titans, or um, Battle of the Losers. Showing that beating up on your friends will always bring out the best, the Birds and Dukes are putting together a huge week. They are combining for a total of 267.50 this week, barely nudging out the Ryan-Hong matchup from WK1 (247.5). So, who won? We dont' know! It's coming down to the wire with Gene leading Jon by 9.5 with Donald Driver to go for Jon. Woo-wheee. An old fashioned barn burner!
The Birds finally got Larry Johnson to put up some decent numbers, 28 pts while Torry Holt and TJ Houshmandzadeh combined for 29. Newly acquired QB Marc Bulger had an outstanding 30 pts but it was really the Falcons Def that piled up the points for Jon, to the tune of 22 points. Gene on the other hand had a trio of big twenty point games from Byron Leftwich (25), Laurence Maroney (25.5), and Andre Johnson (20.5). Rex Grossman, making an early bid for surprise fantasy star of the year, had 19 points also. So, can Driver score 10 points? We shall see. Either way, our two bottom dwelling (ass kissing) teams are on their way up!
Update: And so this is how it ends, Donald Driver finishes with 7.5 points and Jon goes home with a two point loss. Ouch.
Next Week: Week Five ya'll, cowboy up!
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Week 3
Brown Starz (112.00) vs Jedi Knights (111.50)
Our game of the week certainly didn't disappoint. Chris and Galvez? Galvez and Chris? A true battle for the ages. Galvez held a slight lead going into Monday Night -- 5.5 points -- but Lum still has Warrick Dunn. 5.5 points for Dunn should be a mortal lock so it's over. Bye bye Brown Starz. All you haters out there? Yeah that's you, Razor Ramon, Gene, Hong.....Chris showed you! Despite having no peer support whatsoever (everyone voted for Galvez over Lum), Chris got the big win.
How'd he do it? RB Clinton Portis, just destroying the Texans with 28 total points after just a few quarters of play. He probably could of had forty but held back. Much like his team owner, Portis is a compassionate man. Problems loom on the horizon however for the powerful Jedi. Their QBs aren't looking that hot (Culpepper and McNair) and despite a strong running corps (Portis, R Brown, Dunn plus D Foster, K Jones, T Bell) and the successful return of Steve Smith, the receivers are a tad weak. In a moral saving move, half-black half-Korean Hines Ward was cut Monday afternoon, sending repurcussions throughout the Asian community. Filipino spokesman and BEP member Apl.de.ap had this to say:
"Lapit mga kaibigan at makinig kayo
Ako'y may dala-dalang balita galing sa bayan ko
Nais kong ipamahagi ang mga kwento
Ng mga pangyayaring nagaganap
Sa lupang pinangako"
Galvez translated that for us and it means, in a few more words, "Let's eat my Filipino brothers." Speaking of those Brown Starz, how'd they lose? WRs Darrell Jackson (20.5) and Roy Williams (22.5) both had great games and Peyton Manning had an easy 20 points. But RBs Rudi Johnson and Corey Dillon combined for only 7 points. That's not gonna help many teams run toa win. So in the battle of the brown, Superlum stands victorious.
Post MNF - Oh No! Our game of the week turns again! Galvez wins, Galvez wins! Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier! Ali boma-ye! Havlicek stole the ball! It's all over! Johnny Havlicek stole the ball! Warrick Dunn, why couldn't you catch one more pass? Run or receive one more yard? Oh No!
Fobsters (162.50) vs El Nino's (105.50)
A butt-kicking I've personally wanted to administer myself (except Hong's bigger than me. Muscles, I mean, his muscles are bigger). Ah well, I guess if someone's gonna have to beat Hong it might as well be Jimmy so that when I beat Jimmy, I can say that I'm better than Hong too. While Hong still unearths the gems (K Robbie Gould had 15 pts), his usual stars faltered. And by stars I'm referring to Thomas Jones, Jerricho Cotchery, and Joey Galloway. Let's see. Oh right, Donte Stallworth -- who killed many teams this week with a surprising visit to the sidelines.
With Donovan still kicking ass and taking names, the Nino's can afford one off-week. The Fobsters pretty much rode two players to their overwhelming victory. Old standard Brett Favre threw for 3 TDs (29 pts) and versatile Brian Westbrook also had 3 TDs on his way to 35 pts for the week. Not bad eh? It's rare that a matchup with four players still to go on Monday (Reggie Bush and Saints D for Hong, Deuce McAllister and K John Carney for Jimmy) is already over. Unless Hong magically planted his former beloved player, J Carney, to score -50 something points for Jimmy.
Post MNF - And Jimmy finishes with the highest score -- so far -- for the season...162.50 points. Congrats.
The Dukes of Hazzard (105.50) vs Pizza the Hut (89.00)
Apparently Marcus will have to do questionable dragon maneuvers with Hong. Been there, done that. Why not wager something less common? Like NOT playing dragons with Hong? Last place Dukes finally pulled it together and through a mighty team effort -- 7 players in double digits -- took down the Huts. It's nice to get that first win isn't it? Gene could have poured on the hurt if he had played Willie Parker (26.5). Maybe next week. Actually, he's going to have to next week because the 2006 version of the Madden curse hit early and hit hard. Number two overall pick Shaun Alexander has a broken foot. Whoops. But he was sucking it up this year anyway, so maybe a change to Fast Willie Parker won't be a bad thing.
Marcus had an injury himself this weekend. Young star Frank Gore strained his abdomen muscles while stretching toward a touchdown. He'll be back however -- and so will his fumbleitis. Oh well. The only player to even show up on Sunday for the Huts was Matt Hasselbeck, who tossed 5 TDs (but somehow only managed 25 pts). Maybe our scoring system is all wrong. How can 5 TDs only be 25 pts? Heck, Marcus sat down Javon Walker -- 3 recepts, 130 yards, 2 TDs -- and he had 26.50 points. Weird.
Dirty Birds (114.50) vs Razor Ramon (109.00)
In a matchup with trash-talking throughout, the Birds (ironically) headed into MNF facing QB Michael Vick. While the Birds seemed to be flying high and well on their way to a big first victory of the season, the Razors somehow -- through the late game fantasy heroics of Tom Brady -- got within 16 points. Vick has averaged well over 20 points each week and the (S)aints aren't exactly the Monsters of the Midway. At least Jon has the ATL defense to get a few spare points. For the Birds, QBs Palmer and the newly acquired Marc Bulger provided some decent scoring and WRs Holt (22) and Fitzgerald (15) were forced to offset Fred Taylor and Joseph Addai's (lack of) production. The 2-0 Razors fougth back with a balanced attack of RBs E James (15.5), Steven Jackson (12.5), Chester Taylor (9.5) and the always smooth Marvin Harrison (12). So, did Vick pull it off? Can the Birds knock-off the king of the hill? Wait and see.
Post MNF - Jon squeaks, and I mean, squeaks out his first victory as Vick tallies only 11 points. Who thinks the NFL rigged the Saints to win, raise your hand. Still, Jon gets a much needed win and the Razors almost had a great comeback.
Next week: Jon versus Gene. Both self-proclaimed fantasy gurus. Both sitting pretty with one win each. Who will pull to 0.500? Let's hope it's Jon (totally unbiased). Maybe they can tie. Which would be fitting.
Our game of the week certainly didn't disappoint. Chris and Galvez? Galvez and Chris? A true battle for the ages. Galvez held a slight lead going into Monday Night -- 5.5 points -- but Lum still has Warrick Dunn. 5.5 points for Dunn should be a mortal lock so it's over. Bye bye Brown Starz. All you haters out there? Yeah that's you, Razor Ramon, Gene, Hong.....Chris showed you! Despite having no peer support whatsoever (everyone voted for Galvez over Lum), Chris got the big win.
How'd he do it? RB Clinton Portis, just destroying the Texans with 28 total points after just a few quarters of play. He probably could of had forty but held back. Much like his team owner, Portis is a compassionate man. Problems loom on the horizon however for the powerful Jedi. Their QBs aren't looking that hot (Culpepper and McNair) and despite a strong running corps (Portis, R Brown, Dunn plus D Foster, K Jones, T Bell) and the successful return of Steve Smith, the receivers are a tad weak. In a moral saving move, half-black half-Korean Hines Ward was cut Monday afternoon, sending repurcussions throughout the Asian community. Filipino spokesman and BEP member Apl.de.ap had this to say:
"Lapit mga kaibigan at makinig kayo
Ako'y may dala-dalang balita galing sa bayan ko
Nais kong ipamahagi ang mga kwento
Ng mga pangyayaring nagaganap
Sa lupang pinangako"
Galvez translated that for us and it means, in a few more words, "Let's eat my Filipino brothers." Speaking of those Brown Starz, how'd they lose? WRs Darrell Jackson (20.5) and Roy Williams (22.5) both had great games and Peyton Manning had an easy 20 points. But RBs Rudi Johnson and Corey Dillon combined for only 7 points. That's not gonna help many teams run toa win. So in the battle of the brown, Superlum stands victorious.
Post MNF - Oh No! Our game of the week turns again! Galvez wins, Galvez wins! Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier! Ali boma-ye! Havlicek stole the ball! It's all over! Johnny Havlicek stole the ball! Warrick Dunn, why couldn't you catch one more pass? Run or receive one more yard? Oh No!
Fobsters (162.50) vs El Nino's (105.50)
A butt-kicking I've personally wanted to administer myself (except Hong's bigger than me. Muscles, I mean, his muscles are bigger). Ah well, I guess if someone's gonna have to beat Hong it might as well be Jimmy so that when I beat Jimmy, I can say that I'm better than Hong too. While Hong still unearths the gems (K Robbie Gould had 15 pts), his usual stars faltered. And by stars I'm referring to Thomas Jones, Jerricho Cotchery, and Joey Galloway. Let's see. Oh right, Donte Stallworth -- who killed many teams this week with a surprising visit to the sidelines.
With Donovan still kicking ass and taking names, the Nino's can afford one off-week. The Fobsters pretty much rode two players to their overwhelming victory. Old standard Brett Favre threw for 3 TDs (29 pts) and versatile Brian Westbrook also had 3 TDs on his way to 35 pts for the week. Not bad eh? It's rare that a matchup with four players still to go on Monday (Reggie Bush and Saints D for Hong, Deuce McAllister and K John Carney for Jimmy) is already over. Unless Hong magically planted his former beloved player, J Carney, to score -50 something points for Jimmy.
Post MNF - And Jimmy finishes with the highest score -- so far -- for the season...162.50 points. Congrats.
The Dukes of Hazzard (105.50) vs Pizza the Hut (89.00)
Apparently Marcus will have to do questionable dragon maneuvers with Hong. Been there, done that. Why not wager something less common? Like NOT playing dragons with Hong? Last place Dukes finally pulled it together and through a mighty team effort -- 7 players in double digits -- took down the Huts. It's nice to get that first win isn't it? Gene could have poured on the hurt if he had played Willie Parker (26.5). Maybe next week. Actually, he's going to have to next week because the 2006 version of the Madden curse hit early and hit hard. Number two overall pick Shaun Alexander has a broken foot. Whoops. But he was sucking it up this year anyway, so maybe a change to Fast Willie Parker won't be a bad thing.
Marcus had an injury himself this weekend. Young star Frank Gore strained his abdomen muscles while stretching toward a touchdown. He'll be back however -- and so will his fumbleitis. Oh well. The only player to even show up on Sunday for the Huts was Matt Hasselbeck, who tossed 5 TDs (but somehow only managed 25 pts). Maybe our scoring system is all wrong. How can 5 TDs only be 25 pts? Heck, Marcus sat down Javon Walker -- 3 recepts, 130 yards, 2 TDs -- and he had 26.50 points. Weird.
Dirty Birds (114.50) vs Razor Ramon (109.00)
In a matchup with trash-talking throughout, the Birds (ironically) headed into MNF facing QB Michael Vick. While the Birds seemed to be flying high and well on their way to a big first victory of the season, the Razors somehow -- through the late game fantasy heroics of Tom Brady -- got within 16 points. Vick has averaged well over 20 points each week and the (S)aints aren't exactly the Monsters of the Midway. At least Jon has the ATL defense to get a few spare points. For the Birds, QBs Palmer and the newly acquired Marc Bulger provided some decent scoring and WRs Holt (22) and Fitzgerald (15) were forced to offset Fred Taylor and Joseph Addai's (lack of) production. The 2-0 Razors fougth back with a balanced attack of RBs E James (15.5), Steven Jackson (12.5), Chester Taylor (9.5) and the always smooth Marvin Harrison (12). So, did Vick pull it off? Can the Birds knock-off the king of the hill? Wait and see.
Post MNF - Jon squeaks, and I mean, squeaks out his first victory as Vick tallies only 11 points. Who thinks the NFL rigged the Saints to win, raise your hand. Still, Jon gets a much needed win and the Razors almost had a great comeback.
Next week: Jon versus Gene. Both self-proclaimed fantasy gurus. Both sitting pretty with one win each. Who will pull to 0.500? Let's hope it's Jon (totally unbiased). Maybe they can tie. Which would be fitting.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Week 2
Brown Starz (137.00) vs Dirty Birds (116.50)
Jon gave it the old college try on Monday night (no, not THAT old college try. No means "no" Hong. Plus, what would Janelle think?). Down by almost 40 points, he held out hope that Fred Taylor might come through. Yeah right. Like the rest of Jon's young season, Fred Taylor came up just a bit short (leaving room for Gene to insert obvious joke here). While the projected stats had the Birds winning by 0.06th of a point, Galvez got the last laugh as he annihilated his WK2 opponent (while recording the current season high 137 pts) behind Peyton's 32 pts and Rudi Johnson's remarkable 27. Did it really hurt the Starz to have #1 WR Randy Moss score less than the kicker (9 to 4)? Not really. The only bright spot for the Birds? Carson Palmer put up 2 TDs and a decent 21 pts. Here are two teams going in opposite ways despite being next to each other in the standings. What can Brown do for you? Kick your ass, just like Big Blue at Notre Dame. Go Brown?
Jedi Knights (110.50) vs Fobulous (105.00)
While Steve Smith and Clinton Portis still sit due to injury, the Knights keep on rolling along. After last week's cakewalk, the Knights had a small nail-biter of a victory, winning by only 5.5 points. Of course, the Baltimore defense exerted its will in the end (24 pts) and extinguished all of Jimmy's hopes. Actually, nobody on the Knights had over 20 pts except for that stellar defensive effort. So take that non-native English speaker...stomp, stomp. As for Fobulous, if only they had played QB Brett Favre (27) or RB Deuce McAllister (18.50) instead of Mark Brunell (8.0) and Chris Brown (0.5), they would have won. Heck, Jimmy could have played WR Derrick Mason (6.5) instead of Chris Brown and won. In even worse news, TO is out for 2-4 weeks. Jimmy will need LT to really step up in the coming weeks.
Razor Ramon (123.50) vs Pizza the Hut (110.50)
One man's 110.50 pts is a nice win, another man's 110.50 is a close loss. Current champ Pizza the Hut suffered from a slightly underpowered week as nobody on the roster topped 20 points. RB Frank Gore continues his early season tear (18 pts) along with Laveranues Coles' surprising early season (19 pts). In fact, they are playing so well that Gore is the #4 player in fantasy so far and Coles is the 2nd best WR in the land (behind, of all people, Donte Stallworth). The Hut's main QB, Matt Hasselbeck, continues to disappoint with back to back 11 point weeks. And what of our league's own Chad Johnson / TO counterpart? Ryan "the Mouth, the Razor" Ramon keeps kicking ass. I guess when you're on a roll you're on a roll right? Engaged, moved out of the hotel, winning in fantasy...
With QB Michael Vick running roughshod over the league and a nice group of steady players (T.Brady, E.James, S.Jackson, C.Taylor, M.Harrison, P.Burress) beside him, the Razors are looking damn good. Oh, did we mention that WRs Antonio Bryant (21) and Terry Glenn (18) rode the bench? That's right, Antonio Bryant, he of the back to back 100+ yard games. Oh, and did we mention, Deion Branch is back? And so is Big Ben (although he sucked Monday)? Uh oh guys, get ready for some touchdown dances from Ryan...
El Nino's (134.50) vs The Dukes of Hazzard (102.50)
Which is the teacher and which is the grasshopper here? A few short years ago we used to play a game called "Hong, name five non-Charger football players." Suffice to say, it was a game we loved. Now Hong's having the last laugh. Donovan McNabb, superstar and leader in individual points. Chad Pennington? Brilliant pickup. Donte Stallworth? #1 WR. Jerrico-fucking-Cotchery? 21 points. And who the hell is Marques Colston (13 pts)?! I'm looking at Hong's waiver wire pickups for my keeper league pickups! I've sunk to a new low. The El Nino's are for real baby! The only reason they aren't undefeated is because they ran into the freight train that was Ryan in the first week.
Oh Gene, oh Gene. How far we've fallen. We, who are proclaimed sports experts, are last and second to last in our fantasy league. Our teams are in ruins and you're starting Alex Smith as your QB. And that's been a bright spot. M.Bulger, W.McGahee, W.Parker, A.Gates and S.Alexander have all been disappointments so far. Even though Reggie Wayne and Andre Johnson are showing signs of life, they can only do so much. Should we dig a hole and lie together? Or can we rise from the ashes and go backtobacktobacktoback miracle homers to win the game like the Dodgers. I'm using (the hated) Dodger references now, how far we've fallen. Is the dream over before it's even begun?
Next Week: Brown Starz versus Jedi Knights! Battle of the Roomies, Part II: Return of the Jedi or The (Brown) Empire Strikes Back?
Jon gave it the old college try on Monday night (no, not THAT old college try. No means "no" Hong. Plus, what would Janelle think?). Down by almost 40 points, he held out hope that Fred Taylor might come through. Yeah right. Like the rest of Jon's young season, Fred Taylor came up just a bit short (leaving room for Gene to insert obvious joke here). While the projected stats had the Birds winning by 0.06th of a point, Galvez got the last laugh as he annihilated his WK2 opponent (while recording the current season high 137 pts) behind Peyton's 32 pts and Rudi Johnson's remarkable 27. Did it really hurt the Starz to have #1 WR Randy Moss score less than the kicker (9 to 4)? Not really. The only bright spot for the Birds? Carson Palmer put up 2 TDs and a decent 21 pts. Here are two teams going in opposite ways despite being next to each other in the standings. What can Brown do for you? Kick your ass, just like Big Blue at Notre Dame. Go Brown?
Jedi Knights (110.50) vs Fobulous (105.00)
While Steve Smith and Clinton Portis still sit due to injury, the Knights keep on rolling along. After last week's cakewalk, the Knights had a small nail-biter of a victory, winning by only 5.5 points. Of course, the Baltimore defense exerted its will in the end (24 pts) and extinguished all of Jimmy's hopes. Actually, nobody on the Knights had over 20 pts except for that stellar defensive effort. So take that non-native English speaker...stomp, stomp. As for Fobulous, if only they had played QB Brett Favre (27) or RB Deuce McAllister (18.50) instead of Mark Brunell (8.0) and Chris Brown (0.5), they would have won. Heck, Jimmy could have played WR Derrick Mason (6.5) instead of Chris Brown and won. In even worse news, TO is out for 2-4 weeks. Jimmy will need LT to really step up in the coming weeks.
Razor Ramon (123.50) vs Pizza the Hut (110.50)
One man's 110.50 pts is a nice win, another man's 110.50 is a close loss. Current champ Pizza the Hut suffered from a slightly underpowered week as nobody on the roster topped 20 points. RB Frank Gore continues his early season tear (18 pts) along with Laveranues Coles' surprising early season (19 pts). In fact, they are playing so well that Gore is the #4 player in fantasy so far and Coles is the 2nd best WR in the land (behind, of all people, Donte Stallworth). The Hut's main QB, Matt Hasselbeck, continues to disappoint with back to back 11 point weeks. And what of our league's own Chad Johnson / TO counterpart? Ryan "the Mouth, the Razor" Ramon keeps kicking ass. I guess when you're on a roll you're on a roll right? Engaged, moved out of the hotel, winning in fantasy...
With QB Michael Vick running roughshod over the league and a nice group of steady players (T.Brady, E.James, S.Jackson, C.Taylor, M.Harrison, P.Burress) beside him, the Razors are looking damn good. Oh, did we mention that WRs Antonio Bryant (21) and Terry Glenn (18) rode the bench? That's right, Antonio Bryant, he of the back to back 100+ yard games. Oh, and did we mention, Deion Branch is back? And so is Big Ben (although he sucked Monday)? Uh oh guys, get ready for some touchdown dances from Ryan...
El Nino's (134.50) vs The Dukes of Hazzard (102.50)
Which is the teacher and which is the grasshopper here? A few short years ago we used to play a game called "Hong, name five non-Charger football players." Suffice to say, it was a game we loved. Now Hong's having the last laugh. Donovan McNabb, superstar and leader in individual points. Chad Pennington? Brilliant pickup. Donte Stallworth? #1 WR. Jerrico-fucking-Cotchery? 21 points. And who the hell is Marques Colston (13 pts)?! I'm looking at Hong's waiver wire pickups for my keeper league pickups! I've sunk to a new low. The El Nino's are for real baby! The only reason they aren't undefeated is because they ran into the freight train that was Ryan in the first week.
Oh Gene, oh Gene. How far we've fallen. We, who are proclaimed sports experts, are last and second to last in our fantasy league. Our teams are in ruins and you're starting Alex Smith as your QB. And that's been a bright spot. M.Bulger, W.McGahee, W.Parker, A.Gates and S.Alexander have all been disappointments so far. Even though Reggie Wayne and Andre Johnson are showing signs of life, they can only do so much. Should we dig a hole and lie together? Or can we rise from the ashes and go backtobacktobacktoback miracle homers to win the game like the Dodgers. I'm using (the hated) Dodger references now, how far we've fallen. Is the dream over before it's even begun?
Next Week: Brown Starz versus Jedi Knights! Battle of the Roomies, Part II: Return of the Jedi or The (Brown) Empire Strikes Back?
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Week 1
Jedi Knights (123) vs Dirty Birds (85)
Proving that if you talk the talk you gotta walk the walk, the Dirty Birds were humbled by almost 50 points and the quiet Jedi Knights proved again that being loqacious means nothing if you can't back it up on the football field. The Birds highly touted QB tandem of C.Palmer and J.Delhomme combined for 9 points. TJ "Houshmazilli" (Championship!) didn't even play and second RB R.Droughns might as well stayed home with 2 pts. K A.Vinatieri was one of the top scorers for the Birds, that's never good. Keep in mind that the Knights dominated with top picks Steve Smith, Ronnie Brown, and Clinton Portis on the bench. That's right, they won easily without their three best players. Hines Ward (13) and Tony Gonzalez (19) were stellar. Also, credit a great defense (Baltimore, 19 pts) and kicking game (Shayne Graham, 12 pts) for steadying the Knights. Return of the Jedi indeed.
Pizza the Hut (116) vs Brown Starz (77)
There's no shame in losing to last year's champion. Fear, awe, intimidation, these are all tools that Pizza the Hut can use this year. Of course, the Brown Starz must be a bit disheartened that they couldn't even put up much of a fight. Indeed, Big Mistake Jake Plummer had -2 pt for the week. The only bright spot in this loss was the hard running of Corey Dillon for the Starz. Otherwise, a totally forgetful week. The Huts, on the other hand, proved that all it takes to win is a bit of Tiki (19.5), a touch of Julius (16.5) and a whole lot of Warner (25). The current champion also left about 100 points on the bench with Mike Bell (16), Frank Gore (29), Lavaranues Coles (19) and Kellen Winslow (16) all sitting this one out. Scary. Can we say "Repeat?"
Razor Ramon (130.5) vs El Nino's (117.5)
In this week's marquee matchup, former Hotel roommates (well, the most recent former Hotel roommates) and now bitter frenemies, beat up on each other to achieve a combined score of 248 points. Mr Pan, once again proving his amazing football acumen, had Donte Stallworth (23) and Reggie Bush (15) exceed all expectations. Donovan McNabb, emotional, spiritual, and physical leader for the Nino's had a butt kicking 25 pts. Still, no victory. In a week that defies categorization, the Razor Ramon's only had two players NOT score in double digits. While no player put up even 20 pts, the consistency of the overall roster powered Ramon to high powered victory and top dog status for Week 1. It also sounds like the GM of the Razors will be receiving a free Cheesecake meal -- to be paid by the defeated, and embittered, GM of the El Nino's.
Fobulous (117.5) vs The Dukes of Hazzard (74.5)
It looks like it's true, "You can't come home again (and still know your football)." Our favorite Italian-Korean put up a demoralizing Week 1 low of 74.5 points. The high point? Um, Wee Willie Parker had 13.5 pts? With QB Trent Green knocked out by a vicious hit and Madden Cover boy Shaun Alexander well on his way to bust status, Mr Kim(izzoli) should be worried. Our other foreign friend, FOB Jimmy Wu had a pretty nice week with his favorite boy LaDainian Tomlinson leading the way with 21.5 points. While QBs Drew Bledsoe and Mark Brunell were awful, the supporting cast of Tomlinson, B.Westbrook (21), Terrell Owens (17), A.Boldiin (14) and J.Shockey (13.5) all turned in excellent efforts on their way to an easy breezy victory. So Gene, how do you say "I got my butt kicked" in Italian? Or better yet, how do you say "Son of a terrorist whore!" Materazzi, out. Viva L'Italia!
Next Week: Pizza the Hut versus Razor Ramon!!!
Proving that if you talk the talk you gotta walk the walk, the Dirty Birds were humbled by almost 50 points and the quiet Jedi Knights proved again that being loqacious means nothing if you can't back it up on the football field. The Birds highly touted QB tandem of C.Palmer and J.Delhomme combined for 9 points. TJ "Houshmazilli" (Championship!) didn't even play and second RB R.Droughns might as well stayed home with 2 pts. K A.Vinatieri was one of the top scorers for the Birds, that's never good. Keep in mind that the Knights dominated with top picks Steve Smith, Ronnie Brown, and Clinton Portis on the bench. That's right, they won easily without their three best players. Hines Ward (13) and Tony Gonzalez (19) were stellar. Also, credit a great defense (Baltimore, 19 pts) and kicking game (Shayne Graham, 12 pts) for steadying the Knights. Return of the Jedi indeed.
Pizza the Hut (116) vs Brown Starz (77)
There's no shame in losing to last year's champion. Fear, awe, intimidation, these are all tools that Pizza the Hut can use this year. Of course, the Brown Starz must be a bit disheartened that they couldn't even put up much of a fight. Indeed, Big Mistake Jake Plummer had -2 pt for the week. The only bright spot in this loss was the hard running of Corey Dillon for the Starz. Otherwise, a totally forgetful week. The Huts, on the other hand, proved that all it takes to win is a bit of Tiki (19.5), a touch of Julius (16.5) and a whole lot of Warner (25). The current champion also left about 100 points on the bench with Mike Bell (16), Frank Gore (29), Lavaranues Coles (19) and Kellen Winslow (16) all sitting this one out. Scary. Can we say "Repeat?"
Razor Ramon (130.5) vs El Nino's (117.5)
In this week's marquee matchup, former Hotel roommates (well, the most recent former Hotel roommates) and now bitter frenemies, beat up on each other to achieve a combined score of 248 points. Mr Pan, once again proving his amazing football acumen, had Donte Stallworth (23) and Reggie Bush (15) exceed all expectations. Donovan McNabb, emotional, spiritual, and physical leader for the Nino's had a butt kicking 25 pts. Still, no victory. In a week that defies categorization, the Razor Ramon's only had two players NOT score in double digits. While no player put up even 20 pts, the consistency of the overall roster powered Ramon to high powered victory and top dog status for Week 1. It also sounds like the GM of the Razors will be receiving a free Cheesecake meal -- to be paid by the defeated, and embittered, GM of the El Nino's.
Fobulous (117.5) vs The Dukes of Hazzard (74.5)
It looks like it's true, "You can't come home again (and still know your football)." Our favorite Italian-Korean put up a demoralizing Week 1 low of 74.5 points. The high point? Um, Wee Willie Parker had 13.5 pts? With QB Trent Green knocked out by a vicious hit and Madden Cover boy Shaun Alexander well on his way to bust status, Mr Kim(izzoli) should be worried. Our other foreign friend, FOB Jimmy Wu had a pretty nice week with his favorite boy LaDainian Tomlinson leading the way with 21.5 points. While QBs Drew Bledsoe and Mark Brunell were awful, the supporting cast of Tomlinson, B.Westbrook (21), Terrell Owens (17), A.Boldiin (14) and J.Shockey (13.5) all turned in excellent efforts on their way to an easy breezy victory. So Gene, how do you say "I got my butt kicked" in Italian? Or better yet, how do you say "Son of a terrorist whore!" Materazzi, out. Viva L'Italia!
Next Week: Pizza the Hut versus Razor Ramon!!!
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