Week 5

Razor Ramon (116.50) vs Brown Starz (91.50)
In a match-up of two 3-1 teams and the current league leaders, the Ramons showed the world who was up and which team was down. Despite coming into this game with a three game win streak, the Starz were easily defeated by the cream of the crop.

Establishing himself as the team to beat, the Razors have sliced up all competitors this season. With a balanced, well-built team with plenty of depth at all positions, the Razors are like the Patriots dynasty -- no superstars but plenty of super players. And who better to lead these Patriots than the original Patriot, Tom Brady? Note the irony of Brady leading his team against the die-hard Michigan fan, Galvez.
But it wasn't just Brady powering the Razors to victory. D Brees, S Jackson, E James, P Burress, D Foster, and even the K J Wilkins all scored in double digits. And that's not accounting for WRs M Harrison and T Glenn, who were just off the ten point mark. That's depth. That's the best team in the league.

Galvez has slip slided his way to three straight victories but the buck stops here. Peyton Manning had an unexpected struggle with the Titans D and despite a resurgence of Randy Moss (13.5 pts) and the always steady Bears D (15.0 pts), it wasn't enough to compete for the top prize. PS- Anyone see Galvez's Yahoo icon? Toot toot indeed. Galvez, you dirty dog.

Dukes of Hazzard (96.50) vs Jedi Knights (73.00)
Could it be? The Dukes are headed up? With another win this week, the Dukes will vault yet another foe in the standings and be at 3-2 for the season. That's right, above 0.500. Call it the rebirth of slick. Behind the awesome might -- cough, cough -- of Rex Grossman (17 pts), the Dukes ran (W Parker, 14.5), passed (B Leftwich, 15.0), caught (A Gates, 12.5) and hit (San Diego, 11.0) their way to a third consecutive victory. And aside from the continued good play of WR Greg Jennings (18.5), the Jedi Knights didn't put up much of an effort. The Knight's QBs combined for 16 pts, their RBs combined for 20.5(among 3 of them) and that was that. If this season is a movie trilogy, the Jedi are squarely mired in "The Empire Strikes Back," a dark time for the rebel alliance.

Pizza the Hut (132.50) vs Fobulous (105.00)
Here's a team who needed a win in the worst way. Paper champions Pizza the Hut had lost three in a row and looked on the verge of disaster. However, with a great week in tow, they could be on the upswing again. Powered by young QBs Damon Huard (20) and Alex Smith (19), the Huts are here to prove that experience is nothing. With the one ring that rules them all, the Huts marshalled the forces and got great production out of RBs F Gore (17.5), J Jones (12.5), and T Barber (14.5). Chip in a nasty Philadelphia D (23) that manhandled Drew Bledsoe for 3 picks and the Huts were able to put up their best week of the season. With the heart of a champion, Pizza finally had the game of a champion too.

Really, what could Jimmy do against a force of nature like Damon Huard? Well, he might have started a defense who wasn't on bye (Bengals D), that's for sure. In a move that will be investigated for weeks to come, some cynics have said that Jimmy threw the game. Then again, with gems like RBs M Jones-Drew (17), D McAllister (18.5) as well as beautiful games by WRs A Boldin (15) and B Berrian (17), the Fobsters did put up a fight. But isn't that what the greatest cheats always want us to think? It was just good enough to lose. Hum....very suspicious......

El Nino's (115.00) vs Dirty Birds (99.00)
In a self proclaimed "Death Match," the Birds look well on their way to committing ritual suicide. With no reason to live anymore (if they lose), the Birds can only hope that Jamal Lewis and Matt Stover can somehow overcome Todd Heap and a 20+ deficit for a miracle win on Monday night. Short of any miracles, the Birds are headed to the bottom of the pile. Despite heroic efforts by QB Marc Bulger (20) and RB Larry Johnson (20), the Birds just stink. The resurgent Freddy Taylor (21.5) was left on the bench -- proving that GM Yang has not only lost his touch, but maybe he never had it in the first place.

Hong, front runner for GM of the Year, has proven that his butt buddy relationship with Donovan McNabb (29) not only produces questions about both their sexual orientations, but also victories. Why in the world is K Robbie Gould scoring 19 points in a week? Is this even possible for a kicker? At least the El Nino's waiver wire wonders J Cotchery and M Colston combined for only 10.5 points this week. And at least WR J Galloway (20.5) was left on the bench, otherwise this game would have been well out of reach -- even for a miracle. But still, a victory is forthcoming and here come the El Nino's; aiming for a heated re-match with the always dangerous Razor Ramons. "Immortality! Take it! It's yours!"
MNF Update: Jon lost. What else you want to know?

Next week: Does it even really matter anymore? I hate fantasy football.
Shouldn't we be adults and play stocks or something? Oh wait, I'd lose at
that too.