Jon gave it the old college try on Monday night (no, not THAT old college try. No means "no" Hong. Plus, what would Janelle think?). Down by almost 40 points, he held out hope that Fred Taylor might come through. Yeah right. Like the rest of Jon's young season, Fred Taylor came up just a bit short (leaving room for Gene to insert obvious joke here). While the projected stats had the Birds winning by 0.06th of a point, Galvez got the last laugh as he annihilated his WK2 opponent (while recording the current season high 137 pts) behind Peyton's 32 pts and Rudi Johnson's remarkable 27. Did it really hurt the Starz to have #1 WR Randy Moss score less than the kicker (9 to 4)? Not really. The only bright spot for the Birds? Carson Palmer put up 2 TDs and a decent 21 pts. Here are two teams going in opposite ways despite being next to each other in the standings. What can Brown do for you? Kick your ass, just like Big Blue at Notre Dame. Go Brown?
Jedi Knights (110.50) vs Fobulous (105.00)
While Steve Smith and Clinton Portis still sit due to injury, the Knights keep on rolling along. After last week's cakewalk, the Knights had a small nail-biter of a victory, winning by only 5.5 points. Of course, the Baltimore defense exerted its will in the end (24 pts) and extinguished all of Jimmy's hopes. Actually, nobody on the Knights had over 20 pts except for that stellar defensive effort. So take that non-native English speaker...stomp, stomp. As for Fobulous, if only they had played QB Brett Favre (27) or RB Deuce McAllister (18.50) instead of Mark Brunell (8.0) and Chris Brown (0.5), they would have won. Heck, Jimmy could have played WR Derrick Mason (6.5) instead of Chris Brown and won. In even worse news, TO is out for 2-4 weeks. Jimmy will need LT to really step up in the coming weeks.
Razor Ramon (123.50) vs Pizza the Hut (110.50)
One man's 110.50 pts is a nice win, another man's 110.50 is a close loss. Current champ Pizza the Hut suffered from a slightly underpowered week as nobody on the roster topped 20 points. RB Frank Gore continues his early season tear (18 pts) along with Laveranues Coles' surprising early season (19 pts). In fact, they are playing so well that Gore is the #4 player in fantasy so far and Coles is the 2nd best WR in the land (behind, of all people, Donte Stallworth). The Hut's main QB, Matt Hasselbeck, continues to disappoint with back to back 11 point weeks. And what of our league's own Chad Johnson / TO counterpart? Ryan "the Mouth, the Razor" Ramon keeps kicking ass. I guess when you're on a roll you're on a roll right? Engaged, moved out of the hotel, winning in fantasy...
With QB Michael Vick running roughshod over the league and a nice group of steady players (T.Brady, E.James, S.Jackson, C.Taylor, M.Harrison, P.Burress) beside him, the Razors are looking damn good. Oh, did we mention that WRs Antonio Bryant (21) and Terry Glenn (18) rode the bench? That's right, Antonio Bryant, he of the back to back 100+ yard games. Oh, and did we mention, Deion Branch is back? And so is Big Ben (although he sucked Monday)? Uh oh guys, get ready for some touchdown dances from Ryan...
El Nino's (134.50) vs The Dukes of Hazzard (102.50)
Which is the teacher and which is the grasshopper here? A few short years ago we used to play a game called "Hong, name five non-Charger football players." Suffice to say, it was a game we loved. Now Hong's having the last laugh. Donovan McNabb, superstar and leader in individual points. Chad Pennington? Brilliant pickup. Donte Stallworth? #1 WR. Jerrico-fucking-Cotchery? 21 points. And who the hell is Marques Colston (13 pts)?! I'm looking at Hong's waiver wire pickups for my keeper league pickups! I've sunk to a new low. The El Nino's are for real baby! The only reason they aren't undefeated is because they ran into the freight train that was Ryan in the first week.
Oh Gene, oh Gene. How far we've fallen. We, who are proclaimed sports experts, are last and second to last in our fantasy league. Our teams are in ruins and you're starting Alex Smith as your QB. And that's been a bright spot. M.Bulger, W.McGahee, W.Parker, A.Gates and S.Alexander have all been disappointments so far. Even though Reggie Wayne and Andre Johnson are showing signs of life, they can only do so much. Should we dig a hole and lie together? Or can we rise from the ashes and go backtobacktobacktoback miracle homers to win the game like the Dodgers. I'm using (the hated) Dodger references now, how far we've fallen. Is the dream over before it's even begun?
Next Week: Brown Starz versus Jedi Knights! Battle of the Roomies, Part II: Return of the Jedi or The (Brown) Empire Strikes Back?
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